The typical, or traditional, American family has always been defined as one which consists of a male and female married couple sharing a common dwelling with their biological children, with the workload divided by gender. Families today no longer fit this definition. In fact, today’s families, like the people in them, are much more diverse. The non-traditional family has become the new “norm”.

Families: All Shapes and Sizes
Today’s families exist in a variety of forms. Many of your students’ families will fall into the following categories, some even moving from one to another during the time the children are in your care.

Blended and Step Families – This kind of family is usually the result of divorce and remarriage. It is one in which children who are biologically unrelated live together.

Cohabitation Family – This family consists of an unmarried couple sharing a living space with their biological and/or adopted children.

Community Families – This type of family is made up of a group of people living and working together, sharing the responsibility of raising the children.

Commuter Families – In this family one parent generally maintains the primary residence, while the other works and lives in another town or state, coming home only for short periods of time. Due to the nature of today’s workforce and the lack of stability in employment, this type of family unit is increasing.

Foster Families and Group Homes – These are basically substitute families who provide homes for children, as determined by the court or other governmental agency, while problems with their biological parents or guardians are being resolved.

Gay or Lesbian Families – These families consist of children being raised by lesbian or gay single parents or two gay or lesbian adults. These children may have come from a previous heterosexual relationship, may be adopted, or have been conceived by a procedure such as artificial insemination.

Grandparent-as-Parent Families – When a child’s parents have died or can no longer be responsible for their care, the grandparents find themselves in the parent position again. There has also been an increase in this family “style”.

Married Families – This type of family consists of a traditionally married couple sharing the responsibility of raising their biological and/or adopted children. Three variations within this group consist of the father working and the mother staying home, the mother working and the father staying home, or both parents working with caregivers assuming daily child care responsibilities.

Single-Parent Families – As indicated by the title, in this family, there is only one parent in the home. This is currently the fastest growing family form, with 90% of these families being headed by women. Research indicates that more than half of all children born will spend at least a part of their lives in a single-parent home.

In addition to all of the above, we must not forget biracial families, where physical appearance and prejudice may make a family “different” or the increase in the number of families from other cultures, where dress and custom may make them stand out. How a child feels about himself is due in part to how his family situation is perceived by society in general. And, how a child feels about himself may affect his academic progress.

Social Challenges Facing Children
Even though non-traditional families are currently more common in the US than traditional families, our society still tends to “promote” the traditional in literature, on film, on television, and, sad but true, even in school. These kinds of experiences often leave children of non-traditional families feeling that theirs is not a “real” family. They may feel embarrassed by their “situation” and uncomfortable in their own skin. Where to they fit in?

Many feel the need to constantly explain their circumstances, such as why they have two “dads”, but no mom, why mom will be attending Father’s Night at school, or that “step” dad is not the real dad. These children face real challenges mainly due to society’s influence and misunderstandings outside the family. As teachers of young children, it is imperative that we help them begin to understand that the importance of a family lies more in what it provides for us than in the way it is structured.

How Schools Can Help
Provide In-Service Training – Provide classes, discussion groups, and guest speakers that will help teachers focus on the quality of a child’s home environment rather than it’s composition, assist them in overcoming any feelings of bias they may harbor, help them understand that some home situations may affect a child’s ability to achieve academically, and offer them information regarding legal issues related to family structure, such as confidentiality, custody, consent, and rights of non-custodial and/or non-related caregivers.

Promote Acceptance of Diverse Families – This can be achieved by providing both libraries and classrooms with books and other resources that reflect family diversity, by choosing inclusive terms to refer to caregivers and requiring all staff members to use them, by incorporating a section of the curriculum to increase the children’s awareness and knowledge of various types of family units, and by seeking information from individual families as to how they wish themselves and their children to be identified.

How Teachers Can Help: In the Classroom
Luckily, our Early Education students are, for the most part, very accepting of other people and alternate lifestyles. There are however, specific things we can do in the classroom setting to develop a better understanding of the term “family” and promote an appreciation of family diversity.

• Define the word “family” – The family unit is the center of a young child’s universe. Discuss the term with the children and encourage them to come to the conclusion that a family unit consists of a group of people who love and care for each other. Have the children tell how many people are in their families and what makes their family special? Note the fact that even though some things about families are the same and some things are different, all are still families. Display and talk about pictures of various family groups.
• Families are the Same Collage – One way in which families are the same is that they all need the same basic things, such as clothes to wear, dishes to eat off of, beds to sleep in, etc. Let the children look through magazines and catalogs to find pictures of items families need. Have them cut their pictures out and glue them to sheets of poster board to make one or more collages.
• Families are Different Mural – One difference families may have is the type of housing in which they choose to live. Talk about and have the children describe various kinds of available housing, such as town homes, mobile homes, apartments, houses, etc. Provide them with construction paper, crayons, and scissors. Invite them to draw, color, and cut out a picture of the kind of home they live in. Help them glue their homes along a sheet of mural paper. Finish the mural by using crayons or markers to add streets, street signs, trees, grass, a playground, etc.
• Meet Family Members – Send a letter home to adult family members inviting each to come in and share a special “talent” with the class. These “talents” can include playing a musical instrument, cooking up an ethnic entrée, or sharing an interesting hobby. This will provide an opportunity for the children to learn about things other families do, which may differ from things their families do, and allow individual students to share their families with the class.
• Families at Work – All families work, both inside the home and out. If possible, take a field trip to visit someone’s parent in the workplace to learn about the job he or she does. For “homework” have the children talk with the adults in their families about their jobs, and then draw a picture of the person at work. Let them share their pictures with the class, telling their classmates about the kind of work being done.
• Families at Play – Talk with the children about what their families do together for fun. Are they involved in sports? Do they enjoy playing board games? Do they rent a film and enjoy a family movie night with a big bowl of popcorn? Ask the children to bring in a picture of whatever it is their family does for fun. Mount each photo, or a color copy of each, on a separate sheet of paper. Invite the children to tell about their family fun, and write what they say below their pictures. Use the pages to make a book about family fun. Place the book in the library area for the children to share at independent time.

References
Below is a listing of several items on non-traditional families you may want to have available, in addition to what your library has, for use by your children, their parents, and yourself.

Children’s Books
Black, White, Just Right! Marguerite W. Davol, Concept Books, 1993.

Do I Have a Daddy? A Story for a Single-Parent Child. Jeanne Warren Lindsay, Morning Glory Press, 1992.

All Kinds of Families. Norma Simon, Albert Whitman & Company, 1987.

Adult Books
Step-By-Step-Parenting/a Guide to Successful Living With a Blended Family. James D. Eckler, Betterway Publications, 1993.

Wonderful Ways to Be a Stepparent. Judy Ford, Anna Chase, Conari Press, 1999.

Of Many Colors: Portraits of Multiracial Families. Gigi Kaeser, Peggy Gillespie, and Glenda Valentine, University of Massachusetts Press, 1997.

Beyond the Whiteness of Whiteness: Memoir of a White Mother of Black Sons. Jane Lazarre, Duke University Press, 1997.

Internet Sites
www.surfpoint.com/Life_Family_Issues--Families--Non_Traditional_Families,html 
Provides links to websites relating to families, blended families, and non-traditional families.

www.surfpoint.com/Life_Family_Issues--Families--Single_Parent_Families.html 
Provides links to websites relating to single parent homes.

www.parentsplace.com/family/singleparent
This site provides information related to single parenting.

Marie is a teacher who has written five books and hundreds of articles on education, parenting, and writing. Her passion is helping children learn through crafting and poetry.