When children have securely bonded with their parents, they generally develop the confidence and self-esteem necessary to take small risks, explore new environments, try new activities, and reach out to new people. High quality child care can strengthen this parent-child bond and provide children with an even stronger foundation for forming attachments with caregivers and other children. Excellent child care does more than keep children safe, teach them social skills, and ready them for school. It also helps create and maintain these crucial emotional connections.

As an educator begins her own bonding with a young child under her care, it can sometimes provoke anxiety for parents concerned that their own position will be undermined. Actually, it takes a sincere cooperative effort from both parties to create a positive and healthy child care experience. Jane Bobay, Coordinator for Early LCC (Early Learning Children’s Community) in Lansing, Michigan, says that it’s critical for parents and teachers to spend time getting to know one another and developing a trusting relationship: “We insist that the parents of new children in our program spend at least a few hours per day for three consecutive days in the classroom with their child. This gives the teacher an opportunity to observe the way the parent comforts and responds to the child and learn unique information (nicknames, etc.) that will quickly give the child a sense of continuity and belonging. We hope that during this time parents will begin to develop confidence in the caregiver, become acquainted with the other parents and children in the program, and familiarize themselves with the general routine. Ideally, this is a positive experience for everyone—especially the child.”

Creating a Cooperative Environment
Here are some ideas to help create an atmosphere that welcomes parents, fosters growth in the parent-child bond, encourages meaningful daily involvement, and in turn helps early childhood educators develop excellent relationships of their own with the families they serve:

• Set the Stage: Have an application process that establishes your philosophy and expectations. You should explain your commitment to parent involvement in your introductory meeting. Very early on parents should feel as if they are not only welcome at your site but also expected to be there. Remind parents that their input is necessary for child care success, and ask specific questions about their child’s preferences, abilities, nicknames and other “family words,” general health, and habits. Outline your expectations as well. For example, in addition to spending time in the classroom, it is very important for parents to apprise you of relevant information such as schedule changes at home, health issues, major family events (a separation or move, for instance), developmental successes or concerns, etc. Make sure the parents will agree to a transitioning policy that requires time in the new classroom or child care home. These first steps cement your arrangement as true partners in the care of the child and hopefully will help reassure the parents that they are a crucial part of their child’s success, even when away at work.

• Maintain Consistency: Assign each child a primary caregiver. In-home child care providers typically serve this function, but larger centers should ensure that every child has one teacher who serves as his main source of care and comfort. This person will be will also be the parent’s main source of information. Because bonding takes time, continuity is critical, and every attempt should be made to keep staffing consistent. Familiar faces are reassuring to both parents and children.

• Invite Family In: Bring the child’s family into the daily routine of the classroom—figuratively and literally. Promote spontaneous visits by encouraging parents to pop-in whenever practical to feed or play with their child. Take some time in both the morning and evening to connect with the parent and discuss the child’s day. Make sure your room is inviting to parents who wish to nurse, bottle feed, or simply rock their babies. Hold special events and meals designed to involve the entire family. If this seems disruptive to you, remember that a liberal visitation policy can reduce parental anxiety and give you clues to make your time with the child easier and more rewarding. In addition, remember that long separations may be difficult for the new child, so bring the family into the classroom symbolically as well. Have parents bring pictures, special blankets, and any other comforting and familiar object to excite and/or pacify children throughout the day. Talking about these pictures and special items creates an opportunity for you to have meaningful time with the child, and it may bring great peace to an anxious baby or toddler.

• Communicate: Daily communication with the family is critical. This can be handled with an occasional phone call, the aforementioned few minutes of child-related conversation at the beginning and end of the day, and daily notes home to keep a parent in the loop. Regularly scheduled conferences will give educators and parents a chance to discuss general development as well as any special successes or concerns that may come up. Strengthen your cooperative relationship with parents by sensitively relaying first words, first steps, and other milestones to a mom or dad who might feel regretful or guilty over missing such moments.

A high quality child care program can actually help improve the bond between a child and parent. When a child is cared for by adults sensitive to and knowledgeable about the world the child inhabits, especially at home, the child is more likely to develop the confidence and social skills to succeed academically, socially, and emotionally. Implementing even a few of these suggestions may go a long way in improving the well-being of the children you care for and the sense of general satisfaction among your families.

Kathreen Francis is a Legislative Aide in the Michigan State Senate with a special policy interest in 0-5 learning and K-12 Educational/Funding issues. She is also the parent of four active children.