It is imperative to focus on positive behavior. Often children will get more attention when they act in unappropriate ways. Focus on what other children are doing right, "I like the way my friend Beth is picking up the blocks or taking such good care of the baby..." There is an old saying that you get what you expect. If you expect the same behavior, you will get the same behavior. You become part of the script. In guidance and discipline the goal is to teach children the skill set to monitor their own behavior. Children should be given choices within consistant and clear limits. Motivation should be fostered intrinsically rather than exterior rewards (stickers, treats). Consequences should be natural, as a result of their behavior. For example, if Mike is working in blocks and he is throwing the blocks against the wall. The teaher would say, "Mike, blocks are for building, when you throw the blocks you could hurt a friend or put a hole in our wall." If Mike starts to build with the blocks, the teacher would say, "Great job building Mike. I like the way you chose to listen to my words." If Mike continues to throw the blocks, "Mike, if you can not build with our blocks you will have to work somewhere else." Mike will either "build with the blocks" in that case the teacher would praise, "I like the way you are building with the blocks, great job working and listening!" If not, "Mike, I am so sad you could not listen to my words. You will need to work somewhere else today since you could not build with our blocks." If Mike cries, "But I won't, I won't." The teacher must be firm, "I am sorry you are sad, but you chose not to listen to my words. You can try again tomorrow. I know you will do better." The child has to be responsible for thier own situation.It is not the teachers fault. In addition, you always have to start with a clean slate. When it is over, it is over. Expect the best and get the best. Set children up to succeed; and trust children to succeed. In addition, often these children do not know how to integrate into a group. The child may want to work with another child in the block area, does not know how to ask and thus, breaks their work. Which is another issue, they need to learn how. Mike if you want to work with John, say "John, can I help you build your tower?" Also, children need to make ammends, you want them to feel sorry -- not say sorry. If Mike knocks down John's block tower -- Mike will need to help John fix it and make it whole. Then you review the social situation. These issues really need to be addressed now. If children do not develop the social capacity to work with and in a group by kinder. they will be at a disadvantage through their whole academic career. These early bullying and anti social tendencies will alientate them from their teachers and their peers, the self esteem will be affected, they will have the self perception that they are bad or are a bully and will keep and maintain that script. These are the children that are most likely to have serious issues as teens (drop out, s, drug/alcohol, teen pregnancy etc.). Knowing this, keep on keeping on! And I commend you for seeking additional input on a tough situation!
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