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Date: 10/13/2005 3:35:00 PM
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Author:
Ally
(jaclem@hotmail.com)
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Subject:Bottle at 4 years old?
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I am nannying a 4 year old who still requests a bottle. When I started 6 months ago the parents got rid of the bottles. I was on vacation for a month and came back and found out that they started giving them to her again. She has many food allergies (eggs, milk, nuts, wheat, beef, mustard, and garlic) so I understand the need for extra nutrition. I have told the parents how bad it is but they won't listen. Does anyone know of any good sources of nutrition that doesn't have the above ingredients? Any resources I could give them to emphasize how bad it is for her to still have a bottle(she goes to bed with it and has one in the morning b4 school). I suggested she have formula in a regular glass however the child won't do this and the parents thought that was foolish. Any other suggestions?
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Date: 10/14/2005 11:43:00 AM
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Author:
kelly
(kellysedlak@aol.com)
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Subject:You can try giving her ensure or some ot...
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You can try giving her ensure or some other product like that- she whould get the extra nutrition that way
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Date: 10/14/2005 4:33:00 PM
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Author:
Elizabeth
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Subject:crazy parents
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If the only way to receive proper nutrition was via sucking on a baby bottle then I could accept the reasoning these parents are using.
However, how long do they plan to continue this so called neccessity?
What is obvious is the fact that the parents are controlled by the child's whims, and unable to deal with her, so when you were gone they gave in out of frustration to the child's demands.
this is a cop out, an excuse for poor parenting.
Nutrition has nothing to do with a baby bottle.
A child does not need to consume cow's milk to be healthy, as cow's milk actually was meant for a 200 pound calf.
Soy milk can be taken from a glas.
Milk is not the best source of calcium.
And vitamins do exist.
All in all, this is a case where the parents are letting the child linger in babyhood as they dont have the skills or the desire to help her grow up emotionally.
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Date: 11/12/2005 7:24:00 AM
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Author:
Brenda
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Subject:Baby bottles were long gone in our home ...
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Baby bottles were long gone in our home when our children reached the 4 year mark. However, I don't at all think there's anything "so" wrong with a 4 year old still occasionally using a bottle, but by 4 years of age children should be well on their way to an independent lifestyle, leaving behind that portion of their "babyhood" in the past. Mothers just have to put a little more effort forth in order to help (curb) the whole "baby bottle" issue.
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Date: 2/26/2006 7:02:00 AM
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Author:
williamsmummy
(gagadacare@aol.com)
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Subject:lots of different countries and cultures...
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lots of different countries and cultures have differing opinons on bottles, the french mothers do let their children have bottles for longer, years in fact.
In the uk its frowned on past a year or so. Both countries have an appallingly low rates of breastfeeding.
french mums are more concerned about getting their bodies back in shape to keep the sex good for their husbands, breastfeeding is not a major concern.
There are visits by physios to give lessons on firming up that pelvic floor!!
The british mums may get a leaflet on how to cope with wetting yourself, and who to ask for help.
They also have to experience intense pressure from midwives who wax lyrical about the benifits of breastfeeding until you give birth. Then all help with breastfeeding disapears. ( well, thats my bitter experience!)
As a long term breastfeeder I cant see the problem in letting a child have a bottle for a long as they have an emotional need that cant be replaced by anything than a bottle. I must admit, that last feed for my children was replaced by a cuddle/story/ and big kiss goodnight.
That said, I dont think thats the issue here. The issue is the parents , who want to keep a child a baby.
They are stepping backwards , rather than embracing the joy of a childs forward development.
i wonder ? are the childs allergies classic or food intolerance?
There is a great deal of guilt, stress and concern from parents who have children with severe allergies.
There is an instinctive urge to over protect children with these sort of conditions.
Do you think these parents feel guilty for spending too much time working away from their child?
How 'in tune' are these parents to their childs needs? are they aware of her development and growth?
This could be an area to over play with the parents, stress the achievments she has made development wise, and get them to look forward towards the next step.
I would also ask for a agreed times for all of you to stick to when regards giving the child a bottle.
perhaps just for bedtime and the teeth brushing.
and leave open the suggestion for a next meeting /agreement to talk over removeing the bottles.
Let them think over it and put the ball in their court.
It more than likely hasnt even struck then as odd if they dont see older children that often.
good luck
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Date: 10/19/2005 4:45:00 PM
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Author:
curvygreek
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Subject:Bottle Rot
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Who rules the roost in that household? Nutrition from a bottle at 4 years old is unacceptable!!
My biggest concern is that child going to bed with a bottle. Aren't they concerned about her teeth?
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Date: 10/15/2005 1:37:00 PM
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Author:
Narelle
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Subject:Milk is not only for a 200 pound calf! (...
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Milk is not only for a 200 pound calf! (Obviously not in this case of a child with an alergy to it) but natural dairy products (from cows!) have for many years provided growing children with calcium. My question of soy based products is that it is the one bean that can be so heavily prosessed that it can be turned into a meat and a milk!, how good can that be for you? and is it not better to teach children to eat fruit and veg rather than take a pill.
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Date: 10/16/2005 5:31:00 AM
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Author:
Elizabeth
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Subject:Milk from a cow was obviously designed t...
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Milk from a cow was obviously designed to help a calf reach 400 pounds within a few months.
Cows In America are injected with drugs, from lots of antibiotics to steroids. As any woman knows, drugs ingested are present in the milk.
Also, "pus" is present in cows milk and a certain number of parts per milion are considered acceptable by the Dept of Agriculture.
So, no, I dont believe the children in America have benefitted from heavy consumption of cows milk under the condititions it is produced today. However, the billion dollar milk industry will lead you to be convinced otherwise. I think it is one of the reasons American children are so overweight and overgrown.
But, since this girl is supposedly allergic to cow's milk, her parents insist that she use a baby bottle for liquids!
How stupid.
by the way, check out notmilk.com
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Date: 10/17/2005 1:41:00 PM
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Author:
meg
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Subject:dental caries
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as you work as a nanny in their house you probably can not do anything about the bottle. BUT I would go to a dental site and print out an article on bottle mouth caries. Taking a bottle of anythig but water to bed will cause cavities the formula just sits under the upper lip all night.
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Date: 10/16/2005 2:30:00 PM
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Author:
Ally
(jaclem@hotmail.com)
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Subject:Thanks for all the feedback! I agree tha...
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Thanks for all the feedback! I agree that it's just bad parenting. Thinking of it in a means of growing up emotionally is a new spin that i think i may be able to get her parents to listen to!
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Date: 10/17/2005 2:06:00 PM
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Author:
bobbiann
(bigddog803@go.com)
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Subject:bottles, soy/rice milk, nutrition
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really, check out http://www.ada.org/public/topics/decay_childhood.asp a professional web site about baby bottle tooth decay. what is so bad about most cases is that the teeth decay behind the tooth near the gumline, and parents can't see the damage until it's too late. organic FORTIFIED soy or rice milk provides alot of nutrition, and soy products from Silk in grocery stores is minimally processed. I drink the plain unsweetened Silk Soymilk and it tastes alot like cow milk. You can find alot of soy and rice cheeses if you look. Rice Slices or Rice Shredds tastes pretty good (fake cheese!). She should also eat raw veggies to help strenghten her teeth. Broccoli, apples, e.g. If she is complaining it hurts her teeth to bite, she probably has decay in her mouth or deteriating gums (a start of baby bottle tooth decay). maybe the parents are so overwhelmed with her allergies, that it's just easier to give her a bottle. Is she still drinking baby formula? or ensure? formuala lacks nutrients for her age, ensure has too much fat/carbs and can cause too much weight gain. a whole 'nother issue!
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Date: 10/19/2005 10:43:00 AM
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Author:
ally
(jaclem@hotmail.com)
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Subject:how do i approach the parents about this?
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AGH! thanks for that website! She is still drinking formula from a bottle in the morning and is going to bed with a bottle. I'm not sure what if any dental cleaning ritual they have. How do I tell the parents how bad this is in a sensitive, non-condescending way? They are both OB-GYN's and you would think they would know better. I am only 23 and have no children so I often feel 'bad' when i correct thier parenting skills.
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Date: 10/19/2005 2:07:00 PM
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Author:
bobbiann
(bigddog803@go.com)
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Subject:approaching parents
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try bringing up your concerns, and that you are concerned about teeth problems since she still takes a bottle. now, the tricky part!, ask the parents how you can help take care of her dental needs, such as brushing after she eats with you, because you are not sure if they want to floss and brush taught, or just brushing. hand them copies of website (ctually, dentist offices have brochures on this). if you approach a parent and sound like you just aren't sure how to handle a situation, and parents know what their child's needs are, you can usually guide them carefully to appropriate behaviors. maybe you can get a brochure and start the conversation off with "while I was at the dentist office, I saw this, I'm concerned, what can I do to help?" be creative, you know your family. Doctors, nurses, lawyers, and teachers are the toughest parents to work with, in my opinion! you always have to think quick and creatively! or maybe offer to take her to a play group, peer pressure just may solve the issue!
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Date: 10/19/2005 2:39:00 PM
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Author:
Terri
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Subject:they know and dont care
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Those educated parents, both doctors, know what they are doing is inappropriate.
They are knowledgable I am sure about cavities, etc.
This isnt to them I believe a "health" issue.
I think it is an example of them wanting to baby their preschooler as she starts to lose her total dependence on them. A bottle requires some fussing around, a sense of importance and a role the mom can play to fuss over the "baby" that is long past the need for a bottle of anything, be it milk, formula, or any liquid nourishment.
I have a real problem with this extended babyhood deal going on with them, and it would be hard for me to respect what they are doing.
As a caregiver in their home you are in no position to change their approach. They would probably smirk at the information you would provide.
However, when you are with the child alone just give her a glass for drinks of whatever liquids she needs.
Talk to her about how bottles are for babies.
Maybe the kid will reject the absurd infantile behavior her parents are forcing on her! Invite a friend over her age as often as possible, and use glasses for drinks.
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Date: 10/26/2005 10:09:00 AM
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Author:
ally
(jaclem@hotmail.com)
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Subject:Update
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I gave them a flier on tooth decay and they have started brushing her teeth more often. The issue of 'babying' her is still severe. This past weekend they bought her a BIB! She insists on wearing it whenever she eats ANYTHING! The bib has rubberized corners that she uses as a teether. She is regressing into an even more drastic 'baby' stage. Has anyone expirienced this with thier child? is it just a stage? The child had a doctor appointment yesterday and I told her to tell the doctor about the bottle but I don't think she did. Her mom didnt say anything about it.
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Date: 10/26/2005 10:50:00 AM
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Author:
Rudy
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Subject:bottle at 4
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They are making her a baby. What haappens when she goes to school. i wouldn't want to be her teacher when she isn't treated like a baby at school what will happen then? I can't believe a parent would do that that should be reported as abuse. Forcing a child to act as a baby at 4. It is terrible.
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Date: 10/26/2005 10:09:00 AM
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Author:
ally
(jaclem@hotmail.com)
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Subject:Update
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I gave them a flier on tooth decay and they have started brushing her teeth more often. The issue of 'babying' her is still severe. This past weekend they bought her a BIB! She insists on wearing it whenever she eats ANYTHING! The bib has rubberized corners that she uses as a teether. She is regressing into an even more drastic 'baby' stage. Has anyone expirienced this with thier child? is it just a stage? The child had a doctor appointment yesterday and I told her to tell the doctor about the bottle but I don't think she did. Her mom didnt say anything about it.
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Date: 10/26/2005 3:15:00 PM
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Author:
Terri
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Subject:making a preschooler wear an infants bib!
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My first response to this post was definately that I felt it wasnt a health issue for the child at age 4 to require a bottle for liquid nourishment, it was a psychological problem with the parents. They want a baby not a child!
they are missing most of the day, and feel they are doing extra good when they return from work by giving extra "care' in the form of bottles, bibs, and I guess next it will be a binky!
sick sick sick
I disagree with rudi that it is "abuse" to manipulate the child this way, but i dont agree with what they are doing.
I feel it is becoming more typical in our society...guilty parents working full time, handing their children over to others to raise, and then either bribing them with material things or babying them way beyond the baby years, to soothe their guilt. The baby act is very transparent to me, and makes me cringe. I have parents that arrive at daycare with 45 pound five year olds swaddled in a blanket in mom's arms as if carrying a newborn! I always want to say"Is this a show for me you are putting on? or is it to fool yourself?" But of course, I dont. However, I have said (sweetly with a hint of sarcasm) "Oh, is there a new baby at the house??"
Good parenting is hard to find! Nobody understands that better than the teachers who work with young children. I truely am very concerned for the future of our nation.
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Date: 10/27/2005 5:46:00 AM
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Author:
Sue
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Subject:day care
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Terri If you hate day care so much why do you work in one?
What are the parents suppose to do with their children while they are at work? I am concerned with our future in a way until we educate the parents on how to be parents there will continue to be a problem.
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Date: 10/29/2005 9:22:00 PM
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Author:
mosquito - from Australia
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Subject:no bottles!!!
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has the child been in care before - maybe she is regressing to try and have them look after her again???
It's a tricky situation - somehow you need to point out to the parents that she is growing up and will be ready for school soon.
Sorry I don't really have any ideas - i'm not really thinking straight! GOOD LUCK!!!!
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Date: 11/14/2005 6:26:00 AM
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Author:
Rudy
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Subject:bottles
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Bottles at 4 NO WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!! Bottles are for babies.
Just like pacifiers too. I had a parent that wanted her child to use a pacifier in my classroom. I said I don't teach babies I teach preschoolers and the child didn't even ask for it when she got there.
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Date: 11/26/2006 7:15:00 PM
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Author:
Natalie michel
(bad_birdy@hotmail.com)
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Subject:bottles @ five
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I just found out that my boyfriends grandfather is giving my step son bottles!!! I am furious!!!!!!! i don't know what do with this man!!! help me!! please
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Date: 11/28/2006 6:25:00 AM
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Author:
Rudy
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Subject:Wow He is crazy! What are his reasons? ...
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Wow He is crazy! What are his reasons? Even though there aren't any at 5. Can you control his visiting his grandfather? Maybe if he can't go there that would stop?
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Date: 11/28/2006 11:45:00 AM
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Author:
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Subject:grandad giving bottles
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How old is grandad? - if he has adult grandchildren, and this is his great grandchild then maybe he's confussed and just trying to be helpful (and being scammed by a 5 year old that should know better!)Not to pick on the older generation, my own Nana is 85 and as sharp as ever. I would still see as much of the grandparents as you can manage - you dont know how long you have them for.
I noticed you said the 5 year old was your step son, does he still see his bioligical mum - just thinking that if there are different rules about the bottle at each house that would contribute to the problem.
good luck!
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Date: 11/13/2005 7:46:00 PM
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Author:
Angie
(angiedavis29@hotmail.com)
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Subject:I once was in a situation to care for a ...
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I once was in a situation to care for a 3yr old and her 8 yr old brother for a 4 day weekend. My child was 2 at the time and had given up bottles at 16 mo. That weekend, I hid all the bottles and told the girl she was a big girl giving her a sippy cup any time she wanted a drink. I explained to the brother about the damage that bottles can do to your teeth hoping he would pass on the message. She did fine for the weekend and I believe that it continued.
Lately I have seen many studies against the use of sippy cups past the transition stage. They also cause dental caries and can cause speech delays because the muscles in the mouth do not develop because of the sucking movements. You might look for information on that concern. At my center, we have children using small open top cups from about 18months to get them away from the sippy cups and they do great. We also let them pour their milk from tiny pitchers and they love being big kids. Maybe you could help the child you are working with to be excited about drinking out of a big cup and get her a small pitcher to be independent, maybe the parents would be excited to brag their child pours their own milk. Just a suggestion. I hope something works to convince the child, because it sounds like the parents are not ready to face reality.
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Date: 7/11/2007 12:26:00 PM
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Author:
Lingga from Pittsburgh
(pamkrouskop@juno.com)
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Subject:Baby Bottles at 2
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My first son was great weaning him from baby bottle when he was 14 months old. One morning, I told him he need to drink from the cup because the bottles are all gone and even showed him where we put the bottles. Sure enough, that was the start and never ask for bottles anymore. My second son on the other hand was the opposite. I did the same thing to him as what I did to my first son and it didn't work. So I talked to my husband and his big brother to help me. At first my husband became unsupportive about it because he is the baby but I asked him to be supportive and needs to be "Consistent". My son refused to drink from the cup for 2 consecutive days and whenever he asked for bottle, I told him, the bottles are gone and that he needed to drink from the cup. I remember, he even told me that sippy cups are for juices( It wasn't very helpful because he started talking when he was 12 months old). So the 3rd day, he asked milk from the sippy cup.
WE just need to be CONSISTENT. There is nothing wrong with sticking to pur rules. It's for their benefit in the long run and less expensive if we stick to our rules. It wont hurt them if we are consistent. Less to worry when there are teenagers. And it is not abuse if we are helping them wean from the bottle. It is a good thing.
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Date: 8/4/2007 5:33:00 AM
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