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Date: 4/18/2007 6:59:00 PM
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Author:
Mindi
(na)
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Subject:Parent smacking child
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I am unsure of what to do. I saw a parent in our drop in program smack a child. No one else saw. It was her word against mine. Should I have NOT done anything? What would you do? I want to help this parent, she is a great person. But she got so frustrated. It is supposed to me my job to help her with parenting, but she was so angry! Please help me!!! I need advice!
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Date: 4/19/2007 7:25:00 AM
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Author:
Rudy
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Subject:parent
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My first question is was this her child? Does she work at the cneter. Here I go stating my opinion I know everyone will disagree but here I go. If she was just a parent dropping off her child she should have that right to do that. Do you know what the child was doing or not doing that the parent wanted? I had a child who talked back to the mom and she swatted her on the . That was not my place to do anythin. Yes I am a mandated reporter but that swat did not leave a mark or really hurt the child. That is the problem with this issue a little swat on the does not warrant child abuse charges. Our soceity is too quick to judge on this. Now I will wait for all th comments that tell me I am demented and shouldn't be around children becasue I stated this.
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Date: 4/19/2007 12:15:00 AM
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Author:
Narelle
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Subject:smacking
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I asume it was her child she smacked! otherwise she needs to be imeaditly fired (asuming she was a staff member) Even with it being her own child, she might need a gentle reminder that she can not disiplin him that way while she is working ( I did have a director once whose child was being very rude, she took her into her private office and smacked her there) But if this was just a parent having a bad day - prehaps you could offer some positive parenting courses, put up posters offering alturnatives to smacking. If you have serious concerns about the childs well being document the event exactly and report it to childrens services. Honestly is was probabliy a mum having a very bad day - who was more upset about smacking her child than the child was for getting a smack - what about sitting down for a cuppa and sharing your toddler horror stories it always makes people feel better if they are reminded that all of us find parenthood tough at some stage.
good luck
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Date: 4/20/2007 2:53:00 PM
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Author:
Narelle
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Subject:a little swat
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I agree with you Ruby - if she was just a parent, and the child was not injured then so be and maybe the child will co-operate next time! I went to a child protection seminar a couple of weeks ago - they basically said that these little swats are ignored by them (to a certain degree) because if they deeply investigated the 1000's of parents that swat then the people who are "REALLY" hurting the children wait longer to be investigated. I am one of those people who say i got smacked - it did not scar me for life, it taught me boundrys - And i am a smacker myself (but i have not delivered one in weeks, have not had too) I bet the parent in question was probably having a bad morning and had tried reasoning/redirecting/ postitive encouragment maybe a bribe and when the child still did not co-operate with reasonable request delivered a harmless swatt.
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Date: 4/20/2007 5:00:00 PM
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Author:
Ann
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Subject:smacking
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I do not think it is OK to hit a child. Hitting a child does not solve the problem. It teaches them that it's OK to hit when they get angry & tells them that making an adult angry can mean physical pain. Spanking doesn't deal directly w/a behavior that needs modification. You could try and mention this swatting thing to the parent at another time, when she has calmed down. Her spanking the child was probably more a result of HER mood/attitude/frustration than anything, so talking to her about it in the moment probably just added to her frustration level and left her feeling defensive. But, in a calmer mood, she may be more receptive to hearing your case that you promote a spank-free environment and that you'd appreciate, for the sake of any kids who may witness it, that she refrain from doing so on the premises. Also, remind her that all teachers are mandated reporters of abuse and that spanking her child in front of you puts you in an awkward position. I'd tell her if it happens again, I'd have to report it. Then, if she seemed upset, I'd remind her that she certainly wouldn't want her child in a day care center where any kind of hitting was simply overlooked.
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Date: 4/23/2007 7:14:00 AM
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Author:
Rudy
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Subject:reporting
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This is my point that giving them a swat does NOT warrant child abuse charges or reporting. that is the problem with the issue. Abuse and a swat are two TOTALLY different things.
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Date: 4/21/2007 9:55:00 AM
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Author:
Chris
(vstchris@yahoo.com)
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Subject:child reporting
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I usually let parents know at the first parent meeting, what the law says we teachers must report. That way they know not to hit their kids in the school, leave children in a car alone outside the school or send them to school in a neglectful manner. However, I stiil have parents do all three because a truly neglectful or abusive parent needs help to stop. By the way, when I did need to report suspected child abuse, CPS did nothing, not even talking to the child. It was suspected ual abuse and many indicators except when asked anything she would clam up. She did not speak English. CPS said that their was no proof so they could not even investigate anything.
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Date: 4/28/2007 7:44:00 PM
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Author:
Rudy
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Subject:WOW
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I know CPS is sometimes useless. The are mandated to investigate with in 24 hrs. But our trusty governmewnt has cut those programs so much that there aren't enough empoyees to investigate all the reports. but again I say that a swat doesn't warrant abuse charges.
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Date: 5/2/2007 11:20:00 AM
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Author:
Linda Arocho
(t0good@webtv.net)
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Subject:WWID
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The original question being what would I do in that situation, is easy for me. I would have walked over to the parent, and keeping a calm tone ask what was the matter and could I help, and depending on the situation, lend a hand. Keeping my calm tone, I would difuse the situation and get the child situated and tell mom "we need to talk". Taking mom aside I'd see if she needed to vent first to get out what she was feeling and THEN I'd remind her I am there to help with parenting skills and such - BUT that I was also a mandated reporter and that people might call in what they just saw - I'd tell her I ever saw anything like that again I'd make the call, but that I'd be glad to give her the tools she needed to help avoid those situations. I know this is what I would do, because that is something I've done before.
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Date: 5/3/2007 7:07:00 AM
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Author:
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Subject:reporting
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A parent swatting a child on the behind does NOT warrant child abuse charges or a call to CPS/DCFS. That is the probelm now people are reporting the little swats and not the real or major things. Lets concentrate on reporting the REAL abuse and not the swats. I had a child that couldn't sit down becasue he had gotten hit. That is what needs to be reported, or the children that report someone touching them inappropriately. Those things we shouldn't even question or hesitate to report. but unfrotunately it has gottne out of hand as what constitutes abuse. If that is the case then I was an abuse child becasue I got a spanking when I needed one. I wasn't abused, never even thought I was. Didn't hate my parents becasue they spanked, me wasn't scared of them at all, didn't grow up an abuser, actually I grew up with morals and values and know what respect is for people. Yes you can get that with out spanking. My parents used other things also. They did like to have to spank myself or my brother but they did and we are both glad they cared enough to set those limits and have consequences. Ok now everyone can tell me how I shouldn't be working with kids becasue of these opinions. I don't believe teachers or caregivers have the right to swat achild. I am referring to a parents choice.
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