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Date: 5/22/2007 11:28:00 AM
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Author:
Linda Arocho
(HappyHands12302@aol.com)
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Subject:"Brown Skin"
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While my group was outside playing (I run a home-based child care program), one 5-yr-old girl took a 3 year old girl by the hand and took her off to the side. The older one said, "You have brown skin like I do, so you and I are friends." Yes, they're the only African American children. We also have 2 Puerto-Rican Children, and 2 Cauc. My heart kind of sank because all the children always play so well together. All of them. I was stunned at first because I had no idea that's how this child saw it. So later, I took her aside and we were sitting there blowing bubbles (I get one-on-one time with each of them all the time) and went child to child with her asking why each one was her friend. "Bryan because he plays basketball with her, Luke because he's her best friend, Anne because she plays SuperHero with her," and when I reached the child that she took to the side, she looked down at the ground and said, "I don't know." I asked "Is she your friend?" She said yes. I said, "That's good. I like her because she smiles a lot and always seems happy." She asked, "I like her because she's the only one with skin like mine." I told her that the other children are her friends even though we all look different, but that we ALL have things in common - she and I even have the same color eyes; Two Eyes, a nose and a mouth, etc. She seemed happier when she went skipping off, but what else should I do. I told her mom about the conversation, but I feel like I should be doing more. Any ideas?
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Date: 5/23/2007 5:24:00 AM
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Author:
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Subject:dont worry! this probably will be tempor...
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don't worry! this probably will be temporary. I have 17 kids in my class. I have one id always labeled by others as a mixed child! He is American Indian, but the kids just classify themselves by color!
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Date: 5/23/2007 10:16:00 AM
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Author:
Linda Arocho
(happyhands12302@aol.com)
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Subject:not really worried....
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I don't care that they see themselves as different. I like that they can do that and still be friends. I think they've got tolerance down to an art around here - we have different ethnic groups, autistic children, etc, but none of them seem to care and still will run around and play with each other just fine. The thing that "disturbed" me was that she said they were friends BECAUSE they had the same skin type. I don't know if THAT's normal or if I'm over thinking. I want her to say they're friends because they have same interests, or what-have-you. I dont know... maybe I am over thinking.
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Date: 5/24/2007 4:47:00 PM
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Author:
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Subject:I think some kids just like to match stu...
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I think some kids just like to 'match' stuff up. I had a friend that wasn't accepted as the fiance by an 8 yr old in-law because she wasn't the same colr as her fiance. Her and the girl loved going out shopping, chatting, all the girly stuff. But the girl said the couple didn't match. Kids can be funny about things. color is one!
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Date: 5/25/2007 1:06:00 PM
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Author:
Chris
(vstchris)
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Subject:Brown skin
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Linda, don't worry about that. Some people think that children are not suppose to notice difference. Why? If they have eyes they will notice and they should notice. What's important is that they don't see adults making a difference and favoring kids for skin color or other differences. They have more that is the same than different and that can be pointed out like you said you did. There is nothing wrong with a child trying to identify with another child that looks like them. Especially if the child is in an environment where there is not other children the same race. They may even live in a place or attend a church where their are few other African Americans. When that happens I think it is only normal to notice someone that you can identify with. Maybe later, when she's more mature she will realize that the skin color is secondary. For right now she may need to note that the two of them have the same skin color. Little children are not like older ones and adults. They don't really discriminate against people because of color except they are taught to. It would be good for you to embrace her realization that the two of them have the same skin color just like you might when 2 children have the same eye color or two children have long ponytails. We celebrate things like that so that children can have pride in themselves. And as an African American Woman, I can tell you, African American children need to know that they can be different but the same. I'm sure that little girl will one day learn to love herself and others because of the environment that you are providing for her.
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