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Date: 2/16/2008 9:33:00 AM
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Author:
Andi
(nighttime_goddess@yahoo.com)
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Subject:HELP!!! extremely misbehaved boy causing stress
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Ok- I have a 3YO in my class- this child is extremely horrible. If he doesn't get what he wants he literally throws himself on the floor screaming until he gets what he wants. The director says to use love and logic and give him choices. IT DOESN'T WORK! I have tried everything I know, everything the director has suggested, everything the other teachers have suggested. I'm at my wits end with this kid. I can't take it anymore. Yesterday I spent hours in tears (at home) because I'm so close to quitting my job over this one child. If another teacher has him my day is great! When I see him coming the headache starts and it goes from bad to worse. I've tried talking to the director about it and all she says is to pray for him and the situation and use love and logic. When I say it's still not working- she says keep trying. When things get really bad- which they do every time I have him- she says don't be afraid to call on her for help. Then I get in trouble because I'm calling on her too often. He disrupts the whole class, is physically abusive- especially to me. Yeah- director takes him and talks to him and makes him promise to behave and as soon as she leaves the room again it starts right back up. Now it's to the point where I'm in trouble all the time with the kid. Yesterday in one of his fits he tried choking himself with his blanket. So I took the blanket away and told him he could have it back when he calmed down. He screamed and screamed. Director came. Took him to another room and then came back and told me not to take his personal items because they are his. I said he was choking himself! She said well you don't take it away. Come and get her. Only take it away if he's turning blue in the face! I am in a total NO WIN situation. And no- none of the other teachers have problems like this with him. He throws fits but not this bad unless he's in my class. I am at a total loss as to what to do besides quit which would tear my up inside and kill me financially so it's not really possible. Help please!!!!
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Date: 2/17/2008 2:25:00 AM
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Author:
Anna
(garciafna@acsalaska.net)
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Subject:Hey, It sounds like there might be seve...
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Hey,
It sounds like there might be several things going on. First does the director ever call the parents. The parents need to take some responsibilty here. Let him have his moment, walk away, just check on him to make sure he is not hurting himself. Sometimes tell him you need a timeout for a moment because he is making you sad. When he is done try suggesting an activity to do with just you and him. Is there someone elso in the classroom that can take over with him when you start to feel fustrated. I completely understand how you feel about wanting to quite or feeling a headache coming on as soon as you see him. But remember that children can sense this feelings when they see you too. Get some information about life at home. Request a home visit this makes the children feel special especially if his teacher comes to visit. Make the visit just that a visit to see his room or pet and take pictures. Make him more involved in the classroom and not just the child who causes problems and disruptions. Does he need more sensory play, does he need more one on one? Does he have a hearing , speech or sight delay. Dose he eat good or is he thirsty. Don't let his behavior control your day. Prepare yourself every morning for you know he is coming. This is who he isright now. Try not calling the director to much for this could now be a game for he knows he is leaving the classroom. Try doing observations to see what and when his temper tantrum start. What trigers this behavior? I am sure you are an excellent teacher and just remember that he is a child and three all you can do is love and make sure he is safe and you are already doing that. For you would not be asking for help if you did not care. Suggest to your director that maybe she should give you an extra 15 minute break just so you can regroup. Good luck let me know how it goes.
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Date: 3/7/2008 8:06:00 PM
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Author:
Marsha
(Malka123@aol.com)
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Subject:Effective Discipline for Children 2 - 12
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I am a teacher and a parent, and I highly recommend the book, 1 - 2 - 3 Magic by Thomas W. Phelan, Ph.D. It really works!!! (There is also a DVD, which is best, because you see it in action.) These are simple, effective strategies for discipline, and you will see instant results. I highly recommend this book and or DVD for all teachers and parents.
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Date: 2/18/2008 9:49:00 AM
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Author:
Andi
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Subject:thanks and more
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His fits are usually(95%)about not getting what he wants. other times- it's the attention- which I guess is still about getting what he wants- another room/ teacher, snack when it isn't time, etc. His home situation is a tricky one- he's in the middle of a custody battle between grandparent and parent. Gparent already has two other sibs. Mother buys him a big bag of candy to eat on his way there every day. Director won't say anything about it and teachers aren't allowed to talk to parents about anything- only the director can. Home visits are strictly no-nos. Director doesn't want to upset ANY parents because enrollment is down and they can't afford to lose anymore kids- not just at this daycare but all over the city. Our enrollment is actually pretty good compared to others. I am at a complete and total loss as to what to do. I am in a total no win situation. The thing is- his behavior wasn't too horrible before when my DD came but when she went back to school he got awful. No one believes there is a correlation except DH who pointed out it's like having his favorite teddy bear taken away. When she comes after school- he's usually good again. But everyone at work thinks it's just a coincidence. She'll be with me today for no school so it'll be interesting to see- calmer at least- lol. Thanks again!
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Date: 2/19/2008 10:59:00 AM
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Author:
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Subject:Disruptive child.
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I think the director needs to work with the child in the classroom for awhile and let her see what is happening. She sounds like she needs more experience because she should know that all children need limits set and you need to be consistant. When you take something away and he screams, move him to another place in the room and ignore it. I know it is hard becasue it is loud. Tell him when he is done screaming he can rejoin the group. If you do this consistently he WILL stop. I had the same situation. I just let him scream and he got tired of that real fast. I alos made sure when he was not screaming that I acknowledged it that he was doing so well etc. I don';t thik it worth quitting your job over, I do think the director maybe needs to get more experiencwe or take soem more classes.
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Date: 2/22/2008 5:56:00 AM
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Author:
Tracy
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Subject:behaving badly
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First and foremost it is important to remember that children misbehave for a reason. Likely there is something missing in his physical or emotional environment that encourage these responses. It sounds like from the previous post his chaotic homelife is likely part of the issue.
From my experience when children misbehvae they are tryig to tell us something. I would encourage you to read up on the functions of behaviour and learn about the ABC method of observing and yzing behaviours. With that you will likely discover the trigger... for example when he throws a fit is he trying to avoid something or is he trying to obtain something...does it only happen during transition...or perhaps he is craving attention and believe it or not kids DO misbehave for attention, even if the response is negative.
An example... Recently a teacher came to me with a concern that the child would run around the room sporadically and disrupt the program. Even when she tried to stop him he continued to run and laugh at her. She was very frustrated. After observing the child the entire morning in the program, I was quickly able to establish that he only ran during transitions. As soon as the teacher said one more minute to tidy up he would start to run. After a week of brainstorming, we have several strategies in place to manage the behvaiour. Our efforts have decreased the behvaiour almost 90%.
Hope this helps.
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Date: 2/26/2008 2:09:00 PM
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Author:
Karen Maier
(ccandc@bellsouth.net)
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Subject:Some things I do
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I have a small daycare for two and up. and have had a few of these in my class. different things seem to work for different kids. One I had would scream if I had to have him give back something he had taken, etc. So Making it sound like it was for his benefit, I would have him sit in a quiet area where he couldnt see alot of the other kids and tell him to sit and "relax" until he felt better. After almost a year his sitting times were down to almost nothing. When he is being good, pick him up, cuddle him, ask him if he wants a story, etc. But if he starts screaming and kicking, move things and children out of the way and ignore him. Take the others and act like you are having alot of fun. LOL he may soon realize he is missing out on things.Hes not going to choke himself, its impossible to do. Just make sure he is safe.
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Date: 4/28/2008 12:33:00 PM
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Author:
shannon
(shannondurr@yahoo.com)
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Subject:how to encourage 6 year old boy to pay attention?
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My son is constantly getting in trouble in kindergarten because he doesn't pay attention. The teacher is overwhelmed with 29 students and no aide. He is a smart and rambunctious boy and left to his own devices will find ways to entertain himself, many times disruptive. We have talked with him and taken away privileges at home but nothing seems to work. I think he is bored. What can I do to improve class time for both student and teacher?
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