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Date: 9/2/2003 4:33:00 PM
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Author:
amy
(wwleaderamy@yahoo.com)
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Subject:my almost 4 year old isnt potty trained! help!
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he will sit on the potty for bowel movements, but he is always semi-constipated, so we have advanced warning. about a year ago, he was #1 trained during the day, but he regressed after i had a baby. i've tried positive reinforcement and bribing and he doesn't respond. i've tried leaving him naked and letting him pee on himself, but it doesn't seem to bother him. he will tell me "i have to go potty" after he has begun peeing. i try not to worry too much about milestones (he was a late walker and he got his teeth late), but this one worries me. he is supposed to go to a new preschool this year and is supposed to be potty trained, but they said they would work with me. what should i do? should i lay off of it for a while and try again later? i know he won't walk down the aisle in pullups, but it's frustrating.
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Date: 9/2/2003 7:16:00 PM
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Author:
bobbi
(bigddog803@go.com)
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Subject:potty training
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is he in pull-ups? if so, STOP! underwear will 'cure' him. I had 4's in my class not potty-trained. What seems to work is the child wears underwear, NO pull-up's (except at night if needed). When he wets himself, I remind the child 'oops, looks like you need to take care of something', and hand the child a clean pair of undies and pants. No scolding or prodding him to use the potty. the child then is responsible for changing himself. this includes BM's in the pants. of course, BM's in the pants are very messy to clean, but this does the trick. You can help clean up after the BM when he is unsucessful, but making the child responsible for taking caring of himself helps his independence and takes the potty training responsibility off mom and putting it were it belongs, on him. good luck!
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Date: 12/30/2004 9:10:00 AM
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Author:
Tad
(tls68@verizon.net)
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Subject:My Four-Year Old Still Wears Diapers and Plastic Pants
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Through the advice of our family doctor, I shouldn't force potty training on my son and that he'll let me know when he's ready to be properly trained. I agree.
I don't mind changing my son's poopy diapers, really. I actually enjoy it. Although it can be embarrassing sometimes when we're out in public or visiting with family. Over the holidays my son sat on my dad's lap after having a rather large BM and my dad got furious when he felt the warm lump mash in his grandson's pants. Of course, I got yelled at for not having my son potty trained at four years old. It's things like this that can be hard on me at times - but I manage to shrug it off.
Still, I don't want to force anything on my son that could harm him emotionally. He's certainly old enough to know he can use the potty for his business. Until he's completely ready to do so, I want him to enjoy his early childhood days wearing diapers and plastic pants.
This is a very interesting post to read. I've enjoyed the various comments.
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Date: 10/10/2006 7:56:00 PM
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Author:
MOMMYDEB
(edndeb715@peoplepc.com)
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Subject:4 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER NOT INTERESTED IN THE POTTY
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HELP HELP HELP!!! My daughter will not use the potty nor will she even put a pair of panties on that she picked out.I've tried everything and nothing is working.REWARDS if she would go, new potty chairs tried to take the pull ups away but she just screams ad crys.I tried to tell her those are for babys because she tells me im a big girl.shes knows what she is doing shes a lil smart camper she hides when she does her business then tells me mommy change me i poo.I don't know what to do.PLEASE HELP ME
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Date: 4/12/2007 1:23:00 AM
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Author:
michael e. machado
(peruggy@peoplepc.com)
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Subject:4 year old my son born priemature not interested in the potty
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I need help , my son born at 6 months weith 1pound He is my unique baby. I give the training about potty,he understand but know me when he made a potty in the daipper.Please I need help because I want ready for the kinder. How can I do
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Date: 4/12/2007 1:23:00 AM
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Author:
michael e. machado
(peruggy@peoplepc.com)
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Subject:4 year old my son born priemature not interested in the potty
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I need help , my son born at 6 months weith 1pound He is my unique baby. I give the training about potty,he understand but know me when he made a potty in the daipper.Please I need help because I want ready for the kinder. How can I do
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Date: 8/30/2007 5:52:00 AM
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Author:
Rudy
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Subject:Way to go Grandpa he SHOULD have been tr...
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Way to go Grandpa he SHOULD have been trained if he is 4. You nailed the problem you said you enjoy it so why train hime ???????????
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Date: 11/10/2005 7:16:00 PM
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Author:
Kitrina Wiza
(wiza139@msn.com)
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Subject:Try this, its worth a shot
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My son loves the show the Wiggles. One day in the store he spotted underwear with the characters on them and he had to have them. Before I put them on I always tell him "don't wet the Wiggles" and he doesn't. It also has worked with Bob the Builder and Spiderman. Find some underpants he likes and he probably won't mess them up. http://members.aol.com/pattispages/pottytraining.html?hop=sueqqx2
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Date: 9/3/2003 2:09:00 PM
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Author:
Connie
(conniemaemillar@hotmail.com)
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Subject:I agree
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Pull-ups are just glorified diapers. (only they cost more) The child doesn't get the wet sensation like they do in underwear.
Also being in a child care centre will also help with the potty training thing. This is one example of peer pressure being positive. He will see all the other children going pee in the toilet want to be a big kid like the rest of the class.
We had a boy who was almost 4 in my class. He was still in pull-ups and didn't even want to discuss the toilet. He is a very bright child with a large vocabulary. One day I caught him going into the washroom and I watched him without him knowing. He did his bussness, and when he was done he saw me and told me "don't tell my mom" He was fully trained within a week of that episode.
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Date: 9/3/2003 2:26:00 PM
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Author:
amy
(wwleaderamy@yahoo.com)
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Subject:were trying your aproach
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he's peed on himself twice yeaterday and once today and he is somewhat upset by it, but it doesn't seem to make much of an impact. i gave him a new pair of underwear, pants and socks and let him change himself. i told him that it was my responsibility to dress him at the beginning of the day and to help him sit on the potty when he asks, but beyond that, it's his responisbility to listen to his body and go to the bathroom and/or ask for help at the first sign that he needs to go potty. i'm also announcing each time i go potty where i am going. hope it'll work.
:) amy
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Date: 9/3/2003 4:07:00 PM
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Author:
Barb
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Subject:It sounds like youre headed in the right...
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It sounds like you're headed in the right direction. Keep it up! When he sees you continue to follow through on this, I'll bet he catches on quickly! Good luck!
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Date: 9/5/2003 9:40:00 PM
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Author:
amy
(wwleaderamy@yahoo.com)
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Subject:is it possible for a "normal" 4 year old boy not to be ready?
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physically? we have been trying the underwear approach and he only goes 2 times a day and he just pees all over himself. i try not to be negative and i just hand him new underwear and sweatpants and make him take them off and put the new ones on. he now tells me that he has to go potty as he is doing it, which is a step up from the grunting and wordless whining from before.
he was a late walker and he just in the past week has learned to jump! and i notice when i ask him a question he will either take a minute or so to think before answering or he will spout out an incorrect answer right away. do you think he needs evaluation? do i just need to chill?
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Date: 9/6/2003 5:37:00 AM
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Author:
Connie
(conniemaemillar@hotmail.com)
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Subject:Just Chill for now
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You have to remember that your are mommy. He know he can get away with things with you that he can't with other poeple. (You have to love him) When he starts pre-schoolhe will learn that the teachers don't put up with the same level of things as mom. Not that the teachers are mean or anything they just expect different things.
He WILL NOT like it, and you might have a few bad days getting him into the building, as I said before this is a goodtype of peer pressure. He will see the other kids and want to be like thim. Wait about a month after starting day care and then see if you still want to get him evaluated.
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Date: 9/12/2003 12:11:00 PM
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Author:
Daycare Provider
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Subject:Have you talked to your pediatrician? T...
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Have you talked to your pediatrician? The pediatrician could rule out any physical problems. I knew a family who tried everything to train their almost 3 year old, even punished accidents, and after a year of stress found out that during his circumcision damage had been done and he had no control--they did surgery to correct the problem. I am not saying this is his problem, but you really should have any physical problems ruled out.
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Date: 9/15/2003 10:57:00 PM
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Author:
amy
(wwleaderamy@yahoo.com)
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Subject:update
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not much to update, i guess. he still won't tell us all the time, mostly have to guess what his grunts mean, but he will go when we put him on the potty (i guess i'm potty trained!). he had a dry weekend. he had his first day in a new preschool and i sent him in underwear and he didn't go at all, but first thing we went to the potty and he went. dry day 3. so i guess it's progress. we are certainly not out of the woods by any means, but it's a small step. thanks everyone for your advice.
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Date: 9/20/2003 2:49:00 PM
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Author:
Narelle
(rellyos@hotmail.com)
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Subject:Great work Amy, you will get there! I ha...
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Great work Amy, you will get there! I have had the 2 to 3 and 1/2 year olds for eight years now and potty training still frustrates me. But it does take about a month once you have them at least occassionally going before they have it down pat. So you are well on the road, some extra tips -
If weather permits,
go bear foot, or just socks (pee in shoes is a pain in the neck.
Make a fuss and give him a hug, let him know how grown up is, maybe you could get a BIG BOY toy, sheets stay up 15 mins more, so there is a reward for beiing a big kid. ( there is so much phisical and emotional reward through touch for a baby being changed he might miss that!?)
throw all pull ups out the window!
A star chart, maybe some little treat, you could explain that now you dont have that extra load of washing to do we have the time to bake a cake or go to the park. Make it attainable "If you are dry for 1 day....."
STICK TO YOUR GUNS, EVEN AT THE SHOPS STAY IN UNDIES as you do not want to give him mixed messages, you have to hold here but when we go out you can pee when and where you like.
Good luck, and remember you can tease him about it on his 21st
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Date: 10/22/2003 7:11:00 AM
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Author:
RH
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Subject:potty training
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Some children do not have a strong connection in their brain when it comes time to go. He may not be really sensing it until it's coming. You know what i'd do, completely forget about it for a month. Don't talk about it, don't fuss, don't even mention it. Let him wear pull ups. Then after a month, after the last bag of pull-ups are gone, say, you know what, the store is out of pull ups, but I do have some underwear until the store has more. say nothing more. and see what happens. Sometimes, the bigger fuss we make, the more children will become anxious and not be able to do it. Many, many times boys will not be potty trained until a little older than what is socially acceptable. If he still has problems after trying this, he truly may not be 'physically' able to do it. and i would mention it to his pediatrician. :)
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Date: 10/25/2003 2:25:00 PM
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Author:
Mary
(mary8824@sbcglobal.net)
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Subject:4 year old potty training
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I just wanted to add some onfo to all the great recommendations. While taking childcare caree classes one thing stood out when talking about potty training. I learned that there are 3 basic stages for the child.
1st The child knows he/she is wet/dirty.
2nd The child recognized that he/she is going peepee/poopoo.
3rd The child finally recognizes the signals before he/she goes potty.
In this 3rd stage is where the child starts learns to control the muscles used to potty with. There is a particular muscle group that controls this and sometimes it takes a little longer to get this control.
Just thought that might help. :-)
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Date: 3/29/2006 6:57:00 PM
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Author:
D. Karmakar
(kdebu@yahoo.com)
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Subject:I did this
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I did this. It didn't work. And guess what? I'm a Pediatrician. I'm not sure what else to do. My daughter will be 5 in November of 2006. I've tried ignoring it, reprimanding her for it, etc....She pees sometimes in the potty and other times wets herself. She's only stooled once in the potty. And keeping up with the change of underwear and getting the smell of urine out of my furniture is getting tiresome and troublesome. Any ideas????
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Date: 12/3/2003 8:59:00 PM
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Author:
Angela
(areynolds40@hotmail.com)
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Subject:evaluation
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I read all of these emails and am about to start training
2 & 1/2 year old. Thanks everyone!
Amy, (sounds like you are ok but...) if you still feel he needs to be evaluated do it -- your instincts may save him later, and if you were wrong, better safe than sorry.
You may even get government money for him as a preschooler. I know very little about this but my neighbor had her son tested as a 3 1/2 yr old and he now gets regular preschool for free -- he just meets with a specialist at the school once a week and is doing great.
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Date: 1/25/2004 5:41:00 AM
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Author:
Been there
(tibarra75@yahoo.com)
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Subject:potty training experience
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I also had a child that potty trained late (late three and a half). There were some similarities to other parents out there. My son had no inclination to pee or poop in the potty. Being a big boy was no motivation; he had a baby brother, so he still wanted to be a baby in some ways. He did not mind having wet pants. We tried having him wear nothing at all; I stopped it because at least with pants on I could tell when he peed. He would be dry all day only when I reminded him to go every 15 minutes. He did not want to wear underwear. We tried having him clean up his own messes; he didn't mind. He was otherwise very bright and there was no physical problem. We got fish potty-training targets; he didn't want to flush them. We tried candy; he would go only when he was in the mood for a piece. There were a couple times I was in tears worrying that I would have a kindergartener that was not completely potty trained.
The good news is that a child in this situation can potty train very fast. My son basically was potty trained, for both day and night, in 10 days. What finally worked was a combination of two methods.
1) We gave him "tickets" for each full day that he stayed dry. We then assigned a ticket value to each toy that he wanted to buy when we went to the store.
2) He got a five to ten minute "time-out" for having wet pants, if in my judgement it was something he could have prevented. (I know I'll get emails on this one - "You punished your child for what?!!! But he was not going potty because he didn't want to interrupt his play, so I needed to make having wet pants more of an interruption than going potty.)
3) We stopped relying on Pull-Ups and designated a "last box" of Pull-Ups. (Next child, we will throw out the pull-ups earlier.)
Good luck out there to all those parents searching for answers on this one. You'll probably find your own unique solution. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
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Date: 8/25/2004 10:43:00 PM
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Author:
trish
(triciawymore@optonline.net)
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Subject:lots of different things...
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I've been reading all of the posts and just thought some of you might get a kick out of my situation! My son (nearly 3) suddenly showed a huge interest once the "stakes" were high enough. I offered him a matchbox car for each time he would urinate (yes, this is my first child). He went once and got one car which was very thrilling. Then nothing for a week. Suddenly, he decided he "needed" more cars and started going frequently. He is very bright, and I am almost positive he was rationing his urine to maximize the amount of cars he could get. He earned 25 cars in 2 days.....it was such a whirlwind that my better judgement had left. When I tried to wean him to 1 car per two times and then down to four times he quit.
Anyway, we're still working on it! I am going to try some of the tips you have all shared.
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Date: 2/5/2004 3:26:00 PM
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Author:
Hal
(hrachmaninoff@stny.rr.com)
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Subject:I have a 4 and 1/2 year old boy...not potty trained
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Hello,
I have read the messages in this area concerning the difficulty in potty training older children and have come to realize that I am not alone...whew!!!
My son, Dominic, has an older brother (6 years old) who potty trained, late, also...at around 3 and 1/2 years. We used the reward system with him and it worked (small toys in a basket that he could pick from {1 toy for each successful potty experience}...he trained in about 5 days this way.
Dominic? nope...
I have tried everything that I can think of positive and negative reinforcement...to no avail.
Note: My sons only use pull ups at night.
Dominic does not have accidents at pre-k classes
He waits until he gets home...takes his clothes off...and, usually, when playing or watching tv ...does the deed...then, hides.
So, he knows he has done something that is not acceptable.
When questioned...he says he either is 'lazy' (don't know where he got that from..probably, his brother)...or, did not have enough time ...today, it was two poops and a pee on the carpet...
From reading your thread and responses ...I think, that I shall have him keep his underware on...see what happens.
I do so hope that he gets upon the potty track, soon...
Oh...I am a stay-at-home Dad....at least, until Dominic gets into Kindergarten...then, it shall be back to the workplace (next year)
Thanks for the inspiration I have read from the other messages....
Kind Regards,
Hal R.
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Date: 2/6/2004 6:13:00 AM
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Author:
Rudy
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Subject:potty trainning
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If your child is almost 5 then there is no excuse (if there is no physical etc. problem) that he should not be trained. Is he intentionally peeing and pooping on the carpet. If he is old enough to tell you he was just lazy or didn't have time, there should be a punishment. Even dogs get corrected for pooping on the carpet. I don't agree to punishing for accidents but this doesn't sound like an accident it sounds like a game and it needs to be stopped.
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Date: 11/3/2004 1:14:00 PM
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Author:
Oli
(tcrew.35785@farnboroguh)
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Subject:My 2 year old
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My two year old is showing signs of potty training...but I am not sure what to do about him pooping and peeing on the carpet in his bedroom. We woke up this morning around 7am and he had pooped and messed his room with it. Then, when I put him down for a nap, he peed on his bed. It is obvioulsy intentional. He had to undue his onesie and take his diaper off. What should I do??
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Date: 7/26/2004 4:47:00 PM
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Author:
Wendy K.
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Subject:Clarification
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Your evident knoweledge of children's health issues and their developmental stages appears to be quite minimal. Your irresponsible statements regarding the punishment of dogs and children demonstrates a clear lack of education, as well as, empathy for other living creatures. The overall authoritarian tone of your comments suggests issues with regard to your own childhood. Please do not breed or have any future pets. Individuals, such as yourself, who view children and animals as property rather than as living beings with feelings and rights make up far to much of the existing population. Anger is a disease. Do seek therapy.
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Date: 12/25/2006 10:48:00 PM
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Author:
Steve S
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Subject:Wendy K.
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Let me guess. Your a counselor. You think you have all the answers to life. I would be willing to bet that you were the one that had issues with your childhood and therefore need to "help" others as your way of coping with your own problems. Please, do not seek additional therapy as this will most likely cause you to believe even more that you need to "help" others. Children like animals, need corrective behavior. If you do not give correction when their actions "ask" for it, then all you have shown them is that you are the weaker individual. There is such a thing as loving correction. One where the discipline is followed up with reassurance as to ones worth and love. A child will respect and be more obedient as well as loving, towards himself, parents and others if correction is done with authority and love.
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Date: 8/30/2007 6:05:00 AM
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Author:
Rudy
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Subject:pets
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For your information I have a dog that I love very much it is like one of the family. so who is the one with the lack of knowledge and empathy?????? I do not view children and animals as Property. I am not an angry person either. It is ok for me to have an opinion if you do not agree that is fine but just becasue you don't agree that doesn't mean that I have a lack of knowledge or empathy. I think that a child that is 5 should be potty trained unless there is a developmental problem/ Sometimes it is easier to change the diapers/pull ups than the wet or dirty clothes. This is the problem today parents or adults don't discipline children when the behavior warrants. Then when someone states an opinion they are critized for believing that a consequence should follow an action. Wendy for your information I am a pre k teacher I love children and anuimals. I guess you really don't know me after all
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Date: 2/9/2004 12:29:00 AM
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Author:
Narelle
(rellyos@hotmail.com)
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Subject:Wow 5 i think it is yime to pullout the ...
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Wow 5 i think it is yime to pullout the big guns for this battle! But firstly I would focus in his social skills, because if he has this problem starting school, then it is may cause a lot of emotional social issues for him. That can be near impossible for them to recover from
i would suggest elininating phyisical and emotional causes by visiting your family doctor (maybe talk to his teacher- what is he like in the group, would they say he is confidant in all other areas ect)
If it is just being plain lazy, then make it the hard alturnative to going to the toilet!
When he pees on the floor - tell him to turn TV off and go and get a bucket, put that toy down, put these in the wash, i would make him clean up as much as possible, if he complains then you can say you dont like cleaning it either! but it doesn't have to be that way.....GO TO THE TOILET!
i THINK EMOTIONAL REWARDS WILL HELP MORE THAN A NEW TOY, CUDDLE, READ A STORY TOGETHER, GO TO THE PARK things that he really enjoys doing
good luck!
Narelle
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Date: 2/20/2004 7:29:00 PM
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Author:
tawanna
(tawannacloud@hotmail.com)
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Subject:potty training problem need help
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My son will be 4 in July. We are still having potty training problems. He did a BM in preschool today. The instructor told my husband if it happens again. He will be put into a 2 year old class. This is just terrible. My husband act as if is no problem; however, it is a problem. He will be going to kindergarten without bladder control. I find that to be a big problem. The will not let him go to preschool with this problem. What am I to do if he can't go to school next year.
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Date: 3/8/2004 5:19:00 PM
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Author:
Margaret
(mbullens@maine.rr.com)
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Subject:Tawanna, my son was not potty trained co...
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Tawanna, my son was not potty trained completely until the summer before he went to kindergarten. It will happen, just give him a little while longer. I kept telling my son how really cool kindergarten was and all the neat grown-up things he would get to do (ride the bus...), but he would have to be using the potty all the time. That gave him a good incentive. Also, I think your daycare provider was wrong and showing poor judgement when she told you that your son would have to be moved into the two year old room if he had another accident at school. First of all that is demeaning to him and inappropriate. Also developmentally inappropriate and uneducated! What are these woman's credentials and ece education? Support your son in a positive way and perhaps tell your childcare provider of your concerns...might I suggest finding a new provider with a more supportive and loving attitiude to situations like yours (a child having an accident at school at age 4 is not unusual at all!).
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Date: 3/6/2004 4:41:00 PM
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Author:
Hal
(hrachmaninoff@stny.rr.com)
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Subject:4 year old not potty trained
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Update:
Dominic, is still pooping/peeing at home...he does not do this at preschool. Usually, he does this when playing on the playstation or his brother's gamecube...or, watching tv or playing with his toys. Explaination is "my brain goes haywire" I translate this as he does not yet have his muscles trained for the excretion process...because, he will go poop /pee on the potty...we just don't have any consistancy....
sigh
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Date: 5/25/2004 8:45:00 PM
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Author:
daycare provider
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Subject:If it usually happens when he is playing...
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If it usually happens when he is playing games or watching tv-- tell him he can't do those things if he won't stop and go to the bathroom. He is old enough to stop playing and go to the bathroom. Most children will stop undesirable behavior when it is made uncomfortable for them (eg. losing a privelege that they love)
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Date: 3/6/2004 5:09:00 PM
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Author:
jandsmom
(wwleaderamy@yahoo.com)
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Subject:my son is FINALLY getting there
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but I have to say that I think his problem is physical. Though he never got a definitive diagnosis, he exhibits signs of sensory integration disorder and I think he just has had trouble reading the signs from his body. Since the first of the year, he has not had one accident, but has gone without any fights before and after preschool (no accidents at school, but he doesn't use the bathroom there either). I think the speech therapy he has been where they are working on distractability has really helped. In the past few days, he has either gone by himself or told us and we have told him he could go by himself. It's been a long haul but I think the worst is behind us. Of course, now I have to tackle training the 18 month old daughter when she's ready.
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Date: 3/6/2004 9:39:00 PM
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Author:
fuirios dad
(zoomarang@hotmail.com)
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Subject:7 yar old not potty trained
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My son is seven and still not poty trained!!!! I've tried every thing. he just won't learn he weres a dipper to school and every thing. he has no mental problems or so. he is healthy and we have taken him to doctors. but when ever we take him out of his diaperhe wets him self. help
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Date: 4/23/2004 10:41:00 AM
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Author:
cd
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Subject:At age 7 I would have some punishment. I...
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At age 7 I would have some punishment. If the doctor says he is healthy you must put your foot down. No TV, no playing outside Etc. Throw the diapers out, tell him he is growing up.
Make sure he understands what you want him to do.
A good book is "Toitet training in less than a day"
It has some great advise.
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Date: 10/6/2006 10:45:00 AM
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Author:
Karen Brown
(karenjgb71@hotmail.com)
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Subject:My 8 year old still pees (and occasionally poops) his pants
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I am extremely frustrated with my 8 year old son. I was relieved to read that a 7 year old was expriencing this too. I really feel like it is a very poor reflection on my parenting when this is happening. I am an early childhood educator and have been in the feild for almost eighteen years - of all peolpe who should be able to get this under control - it really should be me. I have seldom punished him for it - always make him clean himself up and take care of his own clothes. He does so willingly. Yet - continues to do this. Perhaps it is time to take away priviledges. It must also be said that he has had all sorts of medical tests and there appears to be nothing medically wrong. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
Karen
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Date: 11/1/2006 11:21:00 PM
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Author:
Beth King
(bkspahr@charter.net)
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Subject:8 yr old wetting pants
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I know your frustration, my 8 yr old daughter still pees her pants a couple times a week, sometimes in our own house. I have tried everything, I can't keep her from playing with her friends forever. She wets in a pull-up every night also, despite many efforts of trying to wake her at 2am to use the bathroom. She had ultrasounds and x-rays at age 4 and a urologist was no help and very expensive. I have threatened to make her wear diapers, but I do not think it would help. I am afraid to let her sit on friends or relative's furniture. Isn't that terrible. I am at my wits end and finding it very difficult not to insult her or tell her she will be made fun of. is it abuse to make her sit on the floor with no furniture for a day?
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Date: 2/11/2007 5:36:00 PM
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Author:
Tisha
(satyoder@hotmail.com)
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Subject:daughter - urination
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Beth - I saw your post on this page and was wondering if you have found any help yet for your daughter and her urination problems. My daughter is exactly the same way and the Drs. don't seem to help any either. Put her on Detrol LA - that doesn't work either!!! Just wondering if you have found something to work??? Would love to hear it if you have!
Thanks
Tisha
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Date: 4/16/2007 10:37:00 AM
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Author:
Shana Baker
(sbaker5@cox.net)
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Subject:8 year old daughter - wets too
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Tisha: I saw yours and Beths posts on this page and wondered if you had found anything. My 8 year old is the same way. We have a potty chart she uses right now to write down her times that she goes. The only problem is with the good weather now, we are outside a lot (we homeschool so we are home) and the past two days she has wet her pants both days. It is so frustrating and I don't know what to do any more. The potty chart works if she does it, but I don't like hounding her about every 2 hours.
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Date: 5/8/2007 6:58:00 PM
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Author:
Linda Lunsted
(llunsted@cablespeed.com)
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Subject:My 7 year old pees and occasionally poops his pants
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My 7 year old son was not having accidents until approximately 2 months ago. Now he is peeing his pants almost daily and occasionally pooping. I don't know what to do. I took him to the doctor and thay said don't punish him and that he may be constipated which can sometimes cause him to wet his pants. We treated him for constipation, but it didn't really help. That was about 3 weeks ago. He is still doing it and now has pooped occasionally. I make him sit on the potty every few hours when I can or I don't forget. He seems to do it whenever he get so focued on something that he can't or doesn't want to stop and take the time to go. I started taking away privledges that were related to his not stopping to go. Playing on the computer, watching cartoons, playing play station, etc.. I does not seem to be helping. I can't take everything away, all the time. I am a mental health therapist and I have been ysing it to death. Am I a bad parent, not giving him enough attention, or is this his way of taking and wanting control. I just don't know what to do anymore? Any thoughts ideas or solutions would be greatly appreciated.
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Date: 9/12/2007 9:59:00 PM
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Author:
JWymo
(kjwymos@msn.com)
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Subject:Hi, I wanted to know if this got any be...
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Hi, I wanted to know if this got any better? My 10 year old son still pees his pants during the day and wets his bed at night. We've tried - Urologist and pills, Drs. telling us it was normal and he could do it till he was 12, we tried bed wetting alarms, I get up with him twice a night,I tried telling him taht I was worried that kids would smell him and make fun of him and that I wanted to help him with that. We are now seeing a psychiatrist who thinks it could be ADD or ADHD. But he only seems to have low level symptoms of that. Wetting his clothes during the day seems to come and go. But lately it's been about every other day for a few weeks now. We are exhausted mentally and just don't know what to do anymore. We'll hopefully find out soon if it's related to ADD or ADHD.
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Date: 7/6/2005 10:32:00 PM
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Author:
Ellyt
(ellyt@aol.com)
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Subject:diapered
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if he only pees in the diapers than make him poop as well and see how long he wants to wear them
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Date: 3/6/2004 9:56:00 PM
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Author:
anie
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Subject:my son has bee having acidents in school...
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my son has bee having acidents in school lately and been wetting the bed there is no problems in the family and it started out of the blue
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Date: 3/10/2004 12:33:00 AM
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Author:
Emily
(emily_lanigan@yahoo.com)
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Subject:Almost 5 and not potty trained
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My boyfriend has two daughters. Emmy is going to be five this month and Elise is 3 1/2. Neither are potty trained. My boyfreind has the girls every Tuesday and Thursday evening and every other weekend including Friday evening. He's very supportive and encouraging when it comes to getting the girls to go potty on the toilet. However we have no idea what is going on when they are with their mom.
Yesterday Emmy wet her pants three times in the afternoon. She often wets her pants but rearely more than once a day. When she does it is usually at time when she is having fun and doesn't want to stop to go potty. Also, it doesn't seem to bother her in the least that she is running around with wet pants. She always wears regular underpants during they day, even when with her mom. At night she wears a daiper.
For a long time Emmy didn't know that the had to go potty until she had already started. She now tells us about 80 percent of the time when she has to go potty. So, I know that she knows when her bladder is full and she's gonna have to go.
Elise however doesn't even seem to know that she's gone in her daiper. She's in Pull- Ups or a daiper all the time. One time in the bath she was standing up and she started peeing. She looked down and realized that she was peeing and with a big smile on her face she told me, "I'm making pee pee." It was like she didn't know it until she saw it.
It would be a HUGE triumph if we could get the girls potty trained. It's a MAJOR inconvenience to chase after two pre-schoolers while carrying a daiper bag.
Alos, Emmy will be starting kindergarden this comming fall and I'm worried about some of the social reprocussions.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
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Date: 4/23/2004 10:37:00 AM
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Author:
cd
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Subject:talk to the mother, find out what goes o...
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talk to the mother, find out what goes on in her house. You must work together, be firm, five is too old for accidents everyday.
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Date: 3/11/2004 11:15:00 PM
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Author:
Ms.Jessy
(DrewNJessy@aol.com)
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Subject:anie
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About your son this could be due to a emotional problem or anxiety I would talk with his teacher/ any one who is with him longer than 3hours a day to see if something is upsetting him , and causing him to do this. Talk to your child too maybe he will tell you what is going. on children know more then what we give them credit for. Also he may have a bladder infection rule any physical asspects, but this sounds more like a emotional issue to me more than anyting I hope that this message will help you
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Date: 8/9/2004 12:54:00 PM
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Author:
Wendy K.
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Subject:Great Response!
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I agree!
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Date: 3/15/2004 12:13:00 AM
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Author:
Emily
(emily_lanigan@yahoo.com)
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Subject:little update
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We had a great weekend. Even when Emmy didn't wnat to we made her sit on the potty first thing in the morning and before we left to go out and then again after we came back home. It was the first time in a long time that we didn't change a wet diaper in the car or a public restroom. She had a slight mishap at home. She had to go poo poo abd didn't quit make it to the potty on time. But she seems to be doing better.
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Date: 3/17/2004 11:32:00 AM
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Author:
RM
(robynlmc@aol.com)
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Subject:Need help with constant accidents
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My 3 year + 4 months old son mastered peeing in the toilet very easily about a month ago. He is even dry in the am and wears normal underpants to bed at night. He has no daytime accidents at home or in preschool. BUT, he will not have a BM on the toilet. He's spoiled his underware every day for nearly a month. I've tried everything I can think of. He seems to understand that he needs to use the potty. He will sit and try but it always ends up in his pants. I've tried not to show my frustration but I'm so tired of this! Diapers are so much easier and I'm tempted to put them back on. Help! What should I do??????
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Date: 3/29/2004 7:47:00 PM
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Author:
don
(dcavery@mindspring.com)
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Subject:4 year old not pooping in the potty
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Our 4 year old son is still not pooping in the potty. He wears underpants and can pee in the potty like a pro. He does not have accidents at night. He asks for a pull-up when he has to poop. He has pooped at least two times in the potty and received lots of praise (the last time was last year). However, the next time he still wanted a pull-up. We have tried everything, but are reluctant to lay down a heavy hand because we don't want him to get constipated. He has even gotten to the point where he can sit on the potty with a pull-up on and poop. We have made the ultimatum that there are no more pull-ups after this last package. Any hints?
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Date: 3/30/2004 5:55:00 AM
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Author:
Ruthann
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Subject:potty
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If he can sit on the potty with a pull up on and poop then he can in underware also..He is playing a GAME with you . Get firm and stick to your plan. You will only help him in the long run.
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Date: 5/10/2004 10:19:00 PM
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Author:
maryann
(runbikegrrl@netzero.com)
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Subject:http://health.yahoo.com/health/centers/p...
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http://health.yahoo.com/health/centers/parenting/00013867
read the above article
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Date: 3/29/2007 11:28:00 AM
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Author:
Sharon Settlage
(settlage@mindsrping.com)
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Subject:4 year old not pooping in the potty
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My son had the same problem. I was given the following advice and it worked great. First let him get used to pooping on the potty while wearing the pull-up. Then let him use a pull-up with a small hole that you cut out of the pull-up. Gradually make the hole bigger everyday until finally the poop goes into the potty instead of the pull-up. Over a period of a week or so the child will give up the need for the pull-up.
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Date: 9/19/2007 9:49:00 AM
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Author:
cindy
(mckinnoncindy@hotmail.com)
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Subject:4 year old pooping in pullup
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I think It is great that he is pooping on the toilet w/ his pullup on! My son also 4 will ask for a pull up to poop. ANd we have tried the extreme and had to deal w/ constipation now he is back to pullups! I have been told once you can get them to poop on the potty w/ pull ups on ... cut a hole in the bottom of the pullup so their BM goes into the toilet... one mother pre cut holes so they were ready and then one day she ran out of precut pull-ups and while she was cutting her child sat down and pooped on the potty??? TRY it good luck...
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Date: 5/13/2004 1:47:00 AM
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Author:
Narelle
(rellyos@hotmail.com)
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Subject:I think i would be tempted to buy Pull u...
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I think i would be tempted to buy Pull ups deliberatly too small! then tell him is is too grown up for them!
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Date: 8/9/2004 12:57:00 PM
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Author:
Wendy K.
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Subject:Ruthann, your response was rather poor.
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I hope you do not deal with children in any way, shape or form.
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Date: 12/25/2006 11:01:00 PM
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Author:
Steve S.
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Subject:Wendy K.
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I believe you need to be reprimanded for your sassy comments. You are not a know it all. No one is. These posts are people asking for help or offering their view. These posts are not for you to verbally abuse others.
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Date: 8/30/2007 6:15:00 AM
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Author:
Rudy
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Subject:comments
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Thank You Steve we are all offering comments and opinions Wendy seems to critize when someone suggests a comment she doesn't like. we are all trying to help by offering opinions or advice. thaks for you comment Steve.
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Date: 5/4/2004 4:04:00 PM
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Author:
Connie
(djcbarber@msn.com)
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Subject:trained at home but 1 accident per day at day care
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Hello, first time here. My daughter is 100% trained at home. But at day care she has at least one accident while she is in there care. My daughter is 3 years and 3 months. She is at a home based day care. I started training her last summer when she was just 2yrs-4months. But the end of the summer she was trained. but when she went back to day care in September she started to have accidents. Around Christmas time before the school break she was good. She was telling the sitter she had to go. Wearing real under panties. but when we came back from Christmas break she had accidents again. At least 1 per day. My daugher stopped telling the sitter she had to go or needed to go. My sitter is fustrated and so am I. We have taken toys and privliges away from her when she has an accident. I never scold her or punish her for this. These accidents always seem to be at the same time of the day. She is taken to the potty 1-2 hours before this accident. So it's not like she never has the opporunity to go. The other children who are in the day care verbeilaze that they need to go, but not my daughter. She had to wear pull-up while at daycare but as soon as we get home she puts on her real underwear. I will be done with school/work again for the summer in a few weeks. So soon this will not be a problem. but she will be going to preschool in the fall. Has anyone else had this type of problem and if so what did you do?
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Date: 7/6/2005 10:34:00 PM
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Author:
Ellyt
(ellyt@aol.com)
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Subject:wetting
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your daughter is jelouse of the children at day care that get to wear diapers so diaper her at home and see if her attitude changes
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Date: 8/10/2004 9:53:00 AM
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Author:
bobbi
(bigddog803@go.com)
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Subject:maybe not
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yes, some parents demand complete obidience, which leads to rebellion. however, there are times a child needs to know who is in charge. I see too many kids today telling parents how their lives should be run. They don't like to go to church. They don't like to go to school. They are scared of the potty. As you let your preschooler have more control over his/her life in certain areas, the more likely you will have trouble down the road. My friends don't go to church because their son doesn't find it 'fun'. They are hoping when he is older he will like it so they can go again. Don't push him, they said. Now, shopping for school has been a nightmare. He doesn't like school! He doesn't want to go. He also doesn't eat any veggie, they are all yucky. He has so many demands that are beyond reasonable for a pre-K child. The parents are spineless and are paying the price. I'm not saying to beat your kids down, but to let them know what is acceptable and what is not. Just look to your adult life. Does your boss let you go home early cause you want to? Does your house get cleaned if you are busy playing X-Box? There are choices in life, and some aren't fun. But we must have the discipline to set limits.
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Date: 11/10/2005 3:58:00 PM
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Author:
Kitrina Wiza
(wiza139@msn.com)
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Subject:help please
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hello, I have a foster child whom I love dearly,who will be five in a couple of months who has recently become very lazy and has decided that the potty is not necessary. I have no idea how to handle it. I dont think that guilt and shame is the way to go but I am becoming more discouraged by the day and we have even tried to make it a game with fruit loops, but has not helped so I have no idea on how to help. He sits in his wet underware all day at school without telling anyone. He has actually even got a nice rash going because of his lazyness, Help please.
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Date: 8/10/2004 9:44:00 AM
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Author:
bobbi
(bigddog803@go.com)
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Subject:typo
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oops, forgot the 'r'. I'd better start proofreading.
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Date: 8/10/2004 9:22:00 AM
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Author:
Wendy K.
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Subject:Reply
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A "teacher" is asking why the inability to spell reflects upon one's abilities as an educator? This is a joke. You are obviously a "troller" of forums and really a rather sad human being. How many different names have you aquired on this board?
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Date: 8/10/2004 8:13:00 AM
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Author:
Wendy K.
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Subject:"Ruthann"- Indeed, your response was quite poor.
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You rushed to judgement regarding this child's emotional state. Moreover, your response to "Don's" quandry over how to deal with his son's situation was terse and accusatory. I was hoping you did not deal with children because your post was unprofessional and inappropriate to an absurd degree.
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Date: 8/10/2004 2:39:00 PM
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Author:
Ruthann
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Subject:ignorance
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It is funny that you call others ignorant when you haven't responded with anything constructive just critizims. Do you have any children? Do you teach children? Are your children those that you tell to stop doing something 500 times before you actually give them the consequence. Probably, you sound like one of those parents. I think you need to do constructive and informative things on this site or don't bother wasting everyones time by writing replies that don't back your opinions.
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Date: 8/11/2004 12:23:00 AM
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Author:
Narelle
(rellyos@hotmail.com)
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Subject:Wendy K
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I agree with Ruthann and Bobbi! This is an informal forum - and you would be the one "Trolling" note the subject topic was potty training. Somthing you have failed to address at all. Instead you have proof read and abused other professionals for their educated opinion on the topic.
On a lighter note, I don't have a Bachelors Degree, i am a group leader in Australia. I am the worlds worst speller! I have shocking hand writing and grammer.....
I went to work with little children because they carn't read!. I soon worked out that their parents do! BUT i have lost count of the number of families that loved the time spent in my room, the little brothers ans sisters whos parents insist i have (2nd, 3rd, even a 4th child in families coming to me). The number of birthday party's you get invited too,social events.
At the moment i have a family who are in great pain, Dad has been is hospital for 6 weeks, their 4 year old is deaf and their 3 year old has been diaognosed with the same disorder that claimed the life of their baby boy, Its going around to their home with a pie, making get well cards for Daddy and giving Mum areal hug.
The Personal touch- somthing you might be laking in Wendy- Becoming a part of their family. Remember why you are in the early childhood field. Surly it was not a grammer fettish! and we all know how bad the pay is so no one is here for that.
These are the rewards that some will never understand or truly appreciate. If you don't appreciate the gift of working with children and familys then you should not be here!> You don't have to be an Acadmic to be a great teacher Wendy, give those true proffessionals the respect they deserve.
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Date: 3/5/2006 2:18:00 PM
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Author:
nini
(nini2033a@aol.com)
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Subject:potty training
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OK, so I have a 3.5 year old who was potty training well, making progress while in preschool, something happened. I dont know exactly what, but it became so traumatic for him to go to school, after his loving it for weeks, but he had a room change and teacher change, that I finally ended up pulling him from the school. Now he refuses potty training, and I made the mistake of telling him that when he is completely potty trained we can get him in a different, better play school. He doesn't want to go back to school, wants to do school only at home with mommy and wont use the potty without major scenes.
He is in size 6 diapers, (47 pounds) and I am not sure where to go from here. We have tried bribing him with a trip to disneyworld when he is potty trained, with his Nana visiting, big boy underwear, nothing seems to work.
He has been home for almost 5 months now, and is intelligent, we are "doing school" together and he is already reading 3-4 letter words and doing addition learning beading and cutting and self help skills, but the potty thing is at a complete and total stand still.
Need help.
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Date: 8/26/2004 9:08:00 AM
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Author:
bobbi
(bigddog803@go.com)
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Subject:trish
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maybe he could lose a car for an accident. or loose car playtime. my son was a 'smarty', and we too got caught going over the top. He was flunking out of 7th grade. The school said the only way he would pass if he got stright A's for the last 2 grading periods. Joe said he'd get straight A's if we 'paid him' $200 each time. We were in no position to pay this much cash, but dad offered the incentive anyway. We wound up paying out! and he passed 7th grade. Some kids are just too smart for their parents! be one step ahead!
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Date: 11/4/2004 6:18:00 AM
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Author:
Rudy
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Subject:2yr old
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A 2yr old will go through that at times while they are learning to go. It may help to put him in a pull up and leave the onesie unsnapped so that he can pull it down and try to get to the potty. Explain to him that this is whhere he goes potty and not in his room. You may even need to wake up with him to show him a few time what to do. At 2 he is just learning this control he will need to accomplish this on his own so it takes a lot of patients. He will get it.
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Date: 8/18/2005 7:45:00 PM
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Author:
Terri
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Subject:extended babyish behavior
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I just cringe when I read about all these kids who are way past toilet training age being bribed, coddled, and excused for pooping in their pants!
Four year olds know where the toilet is and what it is for.
They should not require assistance to sit on the toilet, and if they pretend they do then mommy must enjoy her "helper" role a little too much to give it up! The child enjoys the extra attention, the power, the bribes, and the sense of control.
I find it nauseating to hear about babying these kids as if they are toddlers.
I find it scarey to hear all these moms claim their schoolage child is just too incompetent to poop in the darn toilet.
I find it strange to hear adults pander to a kid's deliberate choice to sit there and play video games rather than get their lazy butt to the bathroom. How absurd to pretend that "he just doesnt know he has to poop"!
He knows He doesnt care. He is spoiled and catered to. He will be given diapers to wear and excuses will be made for him , and others will have to endure his smell and his unsanitary habits, and all the while no expectations are placed on him and he is well aware of it!
It is beyond permissive, and beyond the realm of "normal" to think a 4 year old child or older must be cajoled into using the bathroom .
I am sure the kid who is 7 and is wearing diapers to school has NO friends. What a shame that the parents allow the immature and inappropriate behavior to continue, that they become tolerant of it. That they see it as normal is just an indication of how weird they must be too. Poor kids. It isnt going to benefit any child to make excuses for their refusal to use the bathroom appropriately. Their peers will smell them, and their peers will reject them. And rightly so.
Sad.
Get real...a 4 year old is playing games if they pretend to be confused about the purpose of the toilet. A 7 year old has mental problems if they are wearing diapers to school.
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Date: 4/30/2007 4:26:00 PM
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Author:
marcela
(marcela_manzo@hotmail.com)
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Subject:extended babyish behavior
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i logged in this site hoping to get good advice on how to help my 9 year old daughter. sometimes she still has accidents at school. i really dont believe my daughter does this on purpose because she is ashamed of it and tries to hide it from all of us i can see her frustration when this hasppens.when i came upon this ignorant and unsympathtic opinion it hit me.first of all we as parents know that their peers can smell them (they know too by the way)second my child has friends in fact she's pretty popular at school. i've never heard of anyone laghing at her or ridiculing her for her problem. if this ever were to happen then maybe those kids were raised by ignorant fools like you!it is an immature behavior because after all they are KIDS.we as parents become tolerant even though we dont like the behavior because we love our children and we try our best to help them get through this akward not wierd stage.Terri i feel sorry for your family because it must be hard to live with a prick like you.
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Date: 8/18/2005 7:51:00 PM
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Author:
amy
(myfreebiejunkmail@hotmail.com)
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Subject:I am cringing at the fact at the lack of...
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I am cringing at the fact at the lack of compassion here. NOT all 4 year olds possess the physical capacity to listen to their body. My son was just past 4 when he potty trained because he had low tone in his muscles and didn't get the cues most of us have that we need to go potty. Even to this day, I sometimes have to force him to go - he doesn't have accidents if I don't, but he will have to run to the potty if I don't. Am I saying that all 4 years who aren't potty trained are like my son? Not even close, but please think before you pass judgment.
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Date: 8/18/2005 8:02:00 PM
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Author:
Terri
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Subject:oh puleeze!
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Poor muscle tone??? hahaha That is just a silly idea that you are using for an excuse. It must be embaressing to have a big kid pooping on himslef, and I know you must be frustrated, but this idea of the child as a victim of his muscles is absurd!
The toilet is not a complex idea. Pooping is not a huge mental challenge. Video games require much more brain power, and these kids who poop in their pants seem to have no problem with more pleasant activities that require focus and control.
A four year old does not need mommy to sit him on the toilet! He does not need mommy to dress him! He should be doing all these things himself, and any parent who continues to treat a 4 year old as a toddler is doing a disservice to the child for the parents own sense of purpose.
I do not believe that any child of normal mental ability and normal emotional development, who is past the toddler years, is incapable of knowing he has to poop.
Parents who pretend that is the case will suffer with other problems in the future as their child develops a greater ability to manipulate them.
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Date: 8/18/2005 8:05:00 PM
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Author:
Terri
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Subject:compassion?
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A school age kid choosing to poop all over himself does not warrent compassion.
He is not a victim.
He is making a choice, and that is the parents fault for allowing the child to receive attention for inappropriate behavior.
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Date: 11/14/2006 10:55:00 AM
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Author:
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Subject:NO POOR MUSCLE TONE ISNT AN EXCUSE THERE...
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NO POOR MUSCLE TONE ISNT AN EXCUSE THERE IS A SUCH THING AS THAT THEY HAVE NO CONTROL OF THEIR BOWELS!
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Date: 11/14/2006 10:53:00 AM
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Author:
MANDI
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Subject:6 YR OLD STILL POOPING IN HIS PANTS
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REALLY! IF YOUR NOT GOING THROUGH IT THEN YOU DONT KNOW. THATS LIKE TELLING A PERSON WHO HAS CHILDREN HOW TO RAISE THEM WHEN YOU YOURSELF DONT HAVE ANY AND COULDNT POSSIBLY UNDERSTAND. MY SON IS 6 AND IS STILL DOING IT (POOPING IN HIS PANTS) THIS IS SOMETHING HE CAN CONTROL AND HE HAS SHOWED US THIS. HE WAS IMPACTED AND HAS BEEN GOING TO THE DR FOR YRS FOR THIS AND THE DR PUT HIM ON A DIALY LAXATIVE NOW WE DONT KNOW IF ITS AN ACCIDENT OR NOT. THE DR SAYS MAKE HIM WEAR DIAPERS BUT I THINK IF HE CAN CONTROL IT THEN ITS A CONTROL THING FOR HIM TO TRY AND GET WHAT HE WANTS AND IF NOT THEN HE DOESNT NEED TO BE PUNISHED FOR ACCIDENTS CAUSED BY THE LAXATIVE. BUT WE CANT NOT PUNISH HIM FOR DOING IT B/C WE DONT KNOW IF ITS NOT AND ACCIDENT. WE HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING I MEAN EVERYTHING AND NOTHING WORKS.
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Date: 8/20/2005 7:32:00 AM
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Author:
Rudy
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Subject:potty trainning
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Terri you are at it again wasting everyones time when you don't know the FACTS. Yes most children should be potty trained by the time they are 4. BUT did you know an ADHD child can sit and play video games for a long time but can't enter into a play situation correctly? The brain is a BIG thing it is behind our whole function. The video and computer games give and ADHD child directions of what to do which he/she can not do themselves. so before you pass judgment on muscle control and brain activity determining potty trainning get your facts straight first.
I know you won't understand that I tied potty trainning into ADHD children. There are some children who DO lack the muscle control to know when they have to use the bathroom. So are you saying that my cousin who has muscular dystrophy must knwo when he has to use the bathroom and he is just doing it in his pants for fun?????
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Date: 8/30/2005 10:46:00 AM
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Author:
Rudy
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Subject:potty trainning
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I totally agree with you Terri. A school age child is not the victim.The parents are to blame.
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Date: 5/20/2007 12:53:00 PM
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Author:
Marie
(readsalotx2@msn.com)
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Subject:pooping in pants
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My son is ADHD, and we have been having the hardest time getting him to stop having accidents in his pants. I am at my witts end, his main/favorite response is "I forgot" my doctor says, it will "eventually go away, but it really doesn't feel like considering that he will be 8 in about 3 weeks. please give me some ideas. and NOT thne punishment one of taking things away beacause we have/are trying those!!!!! Thanks
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Date: 8/20/2005 2:14:00 PM
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Author:
Terri
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Subject:stop making excuses
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Rudy, I can tell by your frequent mistakes with spelling and sentence structure that complex thinking is a challenge sometimes for your too, or maybe you meant something else when you tried to discredit me in your post?
However,
I dont care if you agree with me, and I have every right to express my opinions.
If you have a different opinion I am not alarmed nor am I outraged. It is called "debate". Chill.
A child who has a serious health condition, who is handicapped, is not physically "normal". I never discussed such handicaps in my previous posts so your analogy is absurd.
However, a parent who describes her child as "normal" and then says the child doesnt know what the toilet is for, etc., is not being honest with herself. If a 4 year old is capable of playing video games intently then the child is capable of walking to the toilet and using it appropriately. If the child has emotional disorders and chooses not to use the toilet then the child is not normal. The child is suffering from a mental or emotional disorder that needs attention, not mindless excuses.
He will suffer the rejection of his peers if he continues to stink up the room. I have seen this first hand. Children at 4 and older are very astute, and they consider a kid who poops his pants at that age "weird" and "a baby". They want nothing to do with him, as even a 4 year old can see that the pooper is not the same as the other children. Any parent who simply tolerates and excuses such behavior, without investigating the real problems involved, is doing a disservice to the immature child. Perhaps the parent is the reason the child has problems in the first place. But, it is definately not normal for a child to be indifferent to the reaction of those around him. And this is what I have observed with this type of child-they usually do not have normal social skills, and are emotionally immature, and mentally confused about the parent's desires. Mommy often gives multiple messages, and encourages infantile behavior at home. Mommy often supplies crutches, both real and emotional, to extend the confusion. One day the mommy gives the child diapers, a bottle at home, or easy access to the parent's bed at night, and then wonders why the next day at school the child alternates between infantile behavior and age appropriate behavior??? I feel sorry for the kid, but I know the child is not a normal kid in significant ways that will affect his social skills and emotional growth. So my point is that the parents that feed this problem by extending the infantile behavior and calling it "normal" are being cruel to their child, and I have no sympathy for that.
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Date: 8/21/2005 8:00:00 PM
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Author:
Rudy
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Subject:potty trainning
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Terri,
I totally agree with you. Yes you are entitled to your opinions as am I. I do agree that parents are usually the problem.
I have no problem with complex thinking skills just sometimes typing. I did view your previous post as one sided. You may have not discussed handicaps in your previous post but that is the way I read it . I read it thatyou felt no child can have physical handicaps when it comes to using the toilet. I have worked in day care 25= year and in the public school system teaching Pre-kdg for 12 yrs. I had a 5 yr old that came to my class last year in diapers. i had a conference with mom that he wasn't allowed to wear diapers in my class. She sent him in underware and he used the bathroom in school. It was laziness on the mothers part. I did also have a 5 yr old with CP and did not have control of his bowels so he wore diapers regularly. So I agree that most of the time the problems lie with the parent.
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Date: 11/1/2005 5:58:00 PM
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Author:
Jessica
(jesslwendt@msn.com)
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Subject:6 yr old still poops in pants on occasion....HELP!
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I don't think the parents are always to blame. I have a 6 yr old who will not get off his butt to go to the bathroom when he is involved in a video game at his after-school day care provider. He has NO problem doing it at home, but he does it on a semi-regular basis at day care. I have determined the cause, but I can't for the life of me get him to stop doing it. He does not want to lose his turn! He would rather sit in poopy pants than stop playing the damn video game! Can you believe that? It's driving me insane! I have tried punishing him, taking away all video games and television...it didn't work. I have tried giving him "stars" for the days when he doesn't crap his pants with the promise of a reward after a certain number of poop-free days...it didn't work. I am at my wits end and have no clue what to try next! I told him it's up to him to make the choice to stop playing the game and use the bathroom. He fully understands what he is doing, but I think he really thinks he will be able to hold it in until his turn is over! I'm not making excuses for him, blaming it on muscle control or constipation or anything else. It's not even laziness! He tells me his brain is telling him to wait. WTF??? Do I need to take him to a psychologist??? I feel bad for the kid because I know if the other kids find out they'll make fun of him and I've told him that but he still does it about once every other week. PLEASE HELP!!!
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Date: 11/3/2005 10:13:00 AM
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Author:
Sue
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Subject:video game
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Maybe he shouldn't get a turn on the video game until he uses the bathroom correctly. Why are they playing video games in an after school program. Our afterschool program is used for their school work.
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Date: 11/2/2005 10:08:00 AM
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Author:
Margaret
(mbullens@maine.rr.com)
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Subject:potty training
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Be patient with your child. Negative reinforcement (punishing him) will most likely not work. Every morning before we get dressed and at bed time my boys (3 yrs and 7yrs) have "potty time". They are expected to sit on the toilet and do what they need to. If they don't need to poop, fine. If they do, great! Getting him on a regular bathroom schedual maybe what he needs. It can be frustrating...lets all try to be nice to our fellow moms and not pass judgment or be mean. This message board is for support, not to make people feel worse. Good luck!
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Date: 11/3/2005 10:17:00 AM
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Author:
Rudy
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Subject:punishment
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Sometimes there has to be a punishment. A 6yr old should not be pooping in his pants. taking away the video game until he uses the bathroom correctly should work I bet he starts using it correctly pretty fast in order to get his turn.
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Date: 11/3/2005 6:55:00 PM
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Author:
Jessica
(jesslwendt@msn.com)
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Subject:Sue - The afterschool program does homew...
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Sue - The afterschool program does homework for the first hour and a half and then they can play after that until the parents come to pick them up. Rudy - I have tried taking the video games away, but I cannot force the afterschool program to take them away. They will not enforce the parent's punishments because they don't want to be the "bad guy". Can't really blame them otherwise the kids would hate going there!
We've given him specific instructions to try to go poop at least 1 time at school and 1 time in afterschool care. So far so good. Hopefully that will work. If not, I'm calling the shrink!
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Date: 11/3/2005 4:42:00 PM
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Author:
Jessica
(jesslwendt@msn.com)
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Subject:suggestions in punishment
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My daughter(4yrs.) had a great first two weeks. Then it went down hill. she pee's on herself all the time unless you keep an eggtimer set. We reward her with gummy bears. We have tried all kinds of punishment, taking away her toys, time outs in Daddy's chair, no cartoons, nothing seems to be working. What can we do to get it through her mind that she is a big girl and needs to use the potty. Spanking has been an issue that we just don't want to discuss. She can use the potty sometimes, and other times it's like you may as well give her the keys to the pool house. We have water, toilet paper, hair products, ect. all over the place. HELP!!!!!
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Date: 12/27/2005 5:09:00 PM
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Author:
proudmommy123
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Subject:Sit Down Or Stand Up???
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Hiya
I am training my 3y.o twin boys but I would like to know to get him started to sit down or stand up to pee???
- Any advice on training little boys are welcome
Thanks,
Ash
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Date: 1/5/2006 8:12:00 PM
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Author:
Soon to be psychologist
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Subject:Sit Down first -Then- Stand Up.
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I work in a group home in North Jersey. We potty train our toddler boys to pee sitting down as soon as possible. However, we always wait until their penises are at least two inches higher than the toilet rim before we teach them to pee standing up, especially if they are circumcised[we discourage this ritual, unless it's for religious reasons]. When a toilet seat falls on a boy's penis, he often associates making peepee with pain, which may even cause further regression. If he has a foreskin, then 1½ inches should be enough. If he is relatively short for his age, or if your toilet is fairly high, you can teach him this using a regular potty seat. It depends on the height of the child and the height of the rim of your toilet.
Also, it is important to teach him to aim. You should be able to hear his peepee hitting the water in the bowl when he is doing it correctly. Using targets can help him improve his aim, but you should still be prepared to clean some stray pee the first couple times he tries it.
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Date: 3/5/2006 2:21:00 PM
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Author:
nini
(nini2033a@aol.com)
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Subject:Potty training traumatized 3.5 year old - need help?
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OK, so I have a 3.5 year old who was potty training well, making progress while in preschool, something happened. I dont know exactly what, but it became so traumatic for him to go to school, after his loving it for weeks, but he had a room change and teacher change, that I finally ended up pulling him from the school. Now he refuses potty training, and I made the mistake of telling him that when he is completely potty trained we can get him in a different, better play school. He doesn't want to go back to school, wants to do school only at home with mommy and wont use the potty without major scenes. He is in size 6 diapers, (47 pounds) and I am not sure where to go from here. We have tried bribing him with a trip to disneyworld when he is potty trained, with his Nana visiting, big boy underwear, nothing seems to work. He has been home for almost 5 months now, and is intelligent, we are "doing school" together and he is already reading 3-4 letter words and doing addition learning beading and cutting and self help skills, but the potty thing is at a complete and total stand still. Need help.
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Date: 4/13/2006 12:40:00 AM
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Author:
mosquito - from Australia
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Subject:some help for you
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Forget about it for a couple of weeks - don't say anything to him about it. Then in a few weeks time, start saying how smart he is and what a big boy he is becoming... then gently bring in the idea that nappies aren't for big boys (because they don't make them) they're for babies. And that maybe he could start doing wees on the toilet soon. Don't push or pressure him (or even bribe him).
Every few days bring up the idea again. Continue to discuss it with him and ask him what he would like to get whenever he does a wee on the toilet (let him decide to use the potty or toilet) whether it be a sticker or a stamp. Maybe he could help you to make a sticker or stamp chart and after he does 10 wees he gets something else like an icecream from the icecream shop etc.
Don't mention the school idea to him until he has the toileting under control and even then start it slowly (the same way as the toileting)- just some gentle suggestions while playing with some toys etc. When you do take him see if you can stay in the room for the first couple of times or only have him there for a couple of hours a day.
If possible, draw pictures with him of things that you like or things you don't like. Maybe you could slowly, somehow, without too much pressure, steer the conversation over to his old school and find out if anything happened. You need to make sure that nothing did happen and if it did take appropriate action. It might be something as simple as his teacher leaving....
All the best - my apologies for this message being so long!!!
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Date: 7/12/2006 12:14:00 PM
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Author:
Ingrid Little
(Ingrid4mdccca@aol.com)
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Subject:4 year old will not use potty to poop
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HELP!
I am the director of a center for children ages 3-5. We have a four year old who will not poop in the potty, he will pee but will contort his body and hold his poop in as long as he can. The teachers are encouraging him to use the bathroom but he continues to go in his pants. He will also try not to go for a long time then he will go in his pants sometimes three or four times. We are not sure what to do. HELP! Thank you in advance.
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Date: 7/12/2006 8:34:00 PM
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Author:
Melissa
(spencerchambers@triwest.net)
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Subject:my 7 year old still pees her pants
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My 7 year old still pee's her pants when she is out playing with her friends. She doesn't have a problem during the school year but when summer comes around she has accidents. Is she just being lazy or is there something wrong? Do we punish her for it. We have tried different approaches, positive reinforcement, grounding, ect. What do we do? When we were potty training she was 3 1/2 before she was potty trained.
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Date: 9/20/2007 10:13:00 AM
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Author:
Ana
(anacolbert@hotmail.com)
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Subject:7 year old
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I seem to be having the same problem and I am also wondering how to handle it if you got any good solutions please let me know I am at a loss as to what to do.
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Date: 9/25/2006 6:35:00 PM
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Author:
Tracy
(tracy_boutilier@msn.com)
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Subject:trouble with my 4 year old
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My 4 year old has been trained for almost 2 years. She has only had 1 accident at nighttime, so you can imagine how I felt when she peed in her pants for the first time 2 days ago. She sat down on the carpet and peed and said she couldn't make it to the bathroom. Okay, so I took that one as an accident. Tonight, she did it again. I am hoping this does not become a regular thing. How can I stop this behaviour before it becomes one? Help please!!!
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Date: 10/19/2006 6:23:00 AM
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Author:
Liz
(lizballenger@bellsouth.net)
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Subject:potty training
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My son is potty trained, but over the last few weeks he is holding his BM as long as he can and then going in his pants. The other day I changed him 6 Times. Now he is hiding his underware. I am at my wites-end!!! I have taken away almost everything. Any advise whouldbe greatly appreciated.
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Date: 11/6/2006 8:20:00 AM
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Author:
Jrw
(jrwftc@hotmail.com)
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Subject:Going at school, not at home
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My 3 year old little girl has no accidents at school, but constantly poops in her "big girl pants" at home. She was using the potty at home very well for a while, but now doesn't seem to make any effort at all to go poop in the potty. . . She still does great at daycare.
Any suggestions??
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Date: 11/16/2006 3:55:00 PM
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Author:
laurie cleary
(lacleary49@hotmail.com)
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Subject:potty training
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My child, a boy with low tone, poor muscle strentght, slightly clumsy and pervausive language disorder still does not go to the potty on his own. I'm totally worn out. He'll go if we say the exact same sentence and sit right there with him. Does'nt care to go on his own at all, would rather go in his pull up. Does not dress himself, only if prompted verbally to pull his pants up. Help!!!
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Date: 11/21/2006 11:36:00 AM
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Author:
Michelle
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Subject:Immaturity
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I cannot believe some of the posts here. The people came on this board for advice on something that they have been working hard on for months and or years..., something that is typically difficult and frustrating for any parent or caregiver and yet there are others that came on to criticize. Everyone is entitled to their opinion.., if you do not like someone's.. do not read their post! There is no need to make cruel remarks against the child or parent. Every child is different and every situation is different.
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Date: 12/12/2006 11:19:00 AM
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Author:
Jaymom2b
(jaymukho@yahoo.com)
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Subject:Starting day care at 2 months
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We are expecting our first next year. Neither one of us can get much time off from work and we will need to start day care at 2 months. Has anyone done so this early? I have heard of horror stories and am getting frightened.
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Date: 12/19/2006 11:07:00 AM
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Author:
Rudy
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Subject:infant day care.
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I worked in day care for 20yrs. We had infants. It was a top of the line church run day care. You have to investigate all your options, check out the places visit, talk witht he teachers and directors. THis is your right. There are very good places out there but check them all.
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Date: 5/21/2007 10:12:00 AM
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Author:
Ally
(passionatedreamer22@hotmail.com)
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Subject:Potty Training
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What bothers me is everybody elses comments. I have been trying my hardest since my daughter turned two to get rid of her night time bottle (security issues!) and have her potty trained because I plan to go back to work and she will have to attend pre-school. Shes 2 1/2 now, and still no luck. The bottle issue is pretty easy, I sent her for a weekend at my dads and told them not to give her a bottle, upon her return home I told her the bottles are all gone now because they are for babies and she is a big girl who can use a cup if she needs a drink at night.
The potty training is a bit more difficult. I have tried pull ups, taking her every 1/2 hr, making her just wear s, treats, bribes, scolds, I even let her be to tell me when she had to go. She will do a pee in the toilet when I take her but forget #2 and if she'll even tell me she's went before shes ripping off her clothes telling me she's wet. Its frustrating but I know if I keep taking her every hr or so and reminding her to TELL mommy before the pee pee comes it should work out. Its true daycare does help too with the training. I had a friend who had given up hope when her kid was 3 and not trained. Now shes 4 and goes on her own like a big kid. Good luck to all moms going thru this I know how you feel and I know im not alone.
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Date: 6/15/2007 7:28:00 AM
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Author:
Karen
(kel1750moor@yahoo.com)
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Subject:7 year old step daughter
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my 7 1/2 year old step daughter is peeing her bed and pants intentionally and her behavior is defiant and disruptive in school. Basically this little one is out of control. Her father and I only see her 5 times a month and the other 25 days are spent with a mother who cannot get out of bed to take her kids to scouts, soccer, playdates, etc.. so the children stay home everyday after school and watch TV.
When they arrive at our home we have behavioral guidelines to follow, playdates set up and lots of sporting activities planned. she is now scared to go outside and acts up frequently. When we give her time out or make her take a nap she'll pee her pants.
We have been giving her consequences for this but she is so angry with us that she now has threatened to poison me and my unborn baby. She also told us her mother taught her how to do it. Help , I know some of you are professionals and dearly need your advice.
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Date: 7/19/2007 5:35:00 AM
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Author:
Marisol Renteria
(marisol_rus@yahoo.com)
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Subject:When is the right time to potty train?
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I have been potty training my 30 months old daughter for the last 2 weeks with no success at all. I have tried pull ups, Dora’s panties (Which she LOVES), rewards, and nothing seems to work, is it too early to start potty training on her? I heard about a “3 days potty training” book, do any of you have use it? Does it work?
Marisol
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Date: 8/5/2007 6:20:00 PM
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Author:
Lina
(cocco@videotron.ca)
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Subject:son is almost 4 & wets his underware every 30 minutes
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Having read the message board, I have not seen anyone with my son's exact problem...
he is almost 4 yrs old now & he constantly WETS HIS UNDERWARE in the daytime EVERY 30 MINUTES approximately. I still keep him in underware & I change it every single time he wets it... I refuse to put a diaper on him in the daytime. I have had this problem for 2 years now.
However his BM was never an issue, he does that gladly in the toilet.
When ever he does tell me that he has to urinate in the toilet, it's too late...he has already over-wet himself! Even if I remind him to go, he will say he doesn't have to go...even if his underware is already wet.... When he is playing or watching TV he is too lazy to stop to go pi. I have tried everything: rewarding / taking away toys & privilges / making a race out of it,...
Over-night he obviously wears a diaper, it's always really full of pipi in the morning.
I would love to hear from someone that has gone thru this same type of problem....help!
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Date: 9/12/2007 10:15:00 PM
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Author:
JWymo
(kjwymos@msn.com)
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Subject:10 Year Old still wets himself
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Wondering if anyone else has this issue? We've tried so many things--Urologist and pills, making him do his laundry, taking him to a psychiatrist (she is currently looking at ADD & ADHD as possible cause), telling him we are concerned his friends will make fun of him. we are exhausted and so concerned. We are now taking away privileges like no playdates till he stops wetting his pants. He says he's just too busy to stop playing and it's fine no one can smell it. We tell him that's not the case. I am feeling so overwhelmed and not sure of a solution. My concern is it's inevitable taht his friends will make fun of him.
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